Warrior Ethos
by 1054SS325MP
Summary: This is between ME1 and ME2, with heavy flashbacks to ME1. This story uses Calinstel's ideas of the Quarian culture. Both Garrus x FemShep and Tali x ManShep. It's designed to be very realistic and focus more on the relationships. Quite a few missions are there too. Info/Glossary page is Now a separate story. Sequel is Warrior Ethos: 2.
1. Last Roll Call

**Bioware owns the characters and everything else you can find in the Mass Effect Wiki. Calinstel owns 99.5% of the ideas behind the Quarians that I'm using. Thanks again buddy, you're the man. The rest is mine. **

Chapter 1: Last Roll Call

"Mister Vakarian," the human calls out.

"Here Sergeant Major!" yelled Garrus at the top of his lungs. Some of the older non-commissioned officers in formation may have been taken aback by the distinctly Turian roar but they barely let it show.

Tali almost couldn't hear his reply though her sobs. She tried to remain rigid, head held high, arms at her sides, and fingers curled with her thumbs resting lightly atop her forefingers. The humans' position of attention, as John had taught her.

"Corporal Fredericks," the human called again.

"Here Sergeant Major!" The Marine replied.

This time Tali begins to quiver, he knees weak and betraying her despair. Staring at the M-8 plunged into the ground, supporting an N-7 helmet, all behind a pair of black boots and a photo of John's smiling face just made her sink deeper into anguish. She tried desperately to blink away the moisture that filled her eyes. _No. Suck it up, girl. You need to get this right for _Him. _That's right, focus on the mission. This service is your mission for the time being. Grieve later, the mission always comes first._

"Miss T'Soni."

"Here Sergeant Major!" Her voice was strained almost to the point of breaking.

Tali kept her head facing forward while shifting her eyes ever so slightly to her left. Her bright eyes locked on the poor woman. Liara didn't have a visor to hide her grief. She was as close to John as Garrus was. She could have been closer, but for Tali. _I shouldn't have gotten in between them. John and I could never have been together even if he _weren't_ with the ancestors. Instead I had to be selfish and take what I knew I couldn't use. If I had stepped back and encouraged Liara I wouldn't have started down the path with _Him_, and I wouldn't feel so - _

"Flight Lieutenant Moreau." The decorated Command Sergeant Major interrupted her mental bargaining.

Tali's head swung hard to the right, down the front row of the formation, her glowing eyes further alight with hatred as they bored into the lieutenant.

Joker's reply was subdued. "Here Sergeant Major."

_When I'm done with him I'll be able to show Garrus the real meaning of _properly contrite. His stupidity put Shepard, both the Shepards, in danger. Killed them both. Had he spared one tenth of one second while in the cockpit to call down to engineering, to call her, he would have been told that the _Normandy_ was a lost cause. At the time of the incident above Alchera she had wanted to pull the space jockey's head clean off his shoulders for endangering _Him_.

"Gunnery Chief Williams," was the next name to be called.

"Here Sergeant Major!" Ashley's reply was well practiced, clear, and with perfect inflection. She had been to too many of these ceremonies.

Tali's eyes locked forward again. Ashley had been the one to coach Tali on the particulars of this Human military tradition. Tali understood that there were many of them; they could be used for anything from mundane activities like eating to truly essential events like the commissioning of a brand new warship. Wrex would be proud of these people when sees the vid. She would be attending another of these traditions for Jane after this, involving an Alliance fighter formation with one spacecraft missing. And then Kaidan's roll call the following day... _Ok, my turn. _

She took a very deep breath and held it as she turned off her mask's vocalizer and opened its emergency atmospheric ports with the press of a microswitch. One she wired into her glove for this occasion. _Ancestors, don't screw this - _

"Miss Zorah"

"Here Sergeant Major!" She bellowed in perfect, unencumbered English as clearly and confidently as she could manage. The sounds she made passing freely through the now unrestricted mask. She quickly released the momentary switch, bring back her mask's default settings and triggering its evacuation cycle. It quickly removed all the foreign air and contaminants. Finally she took a deep breath of filtered air.

Several sets of eyes turned to her as she finished, and even a few heads. No one had ever heard a Quarian speaking English before. And certainly none had ever heard a Quarian's natural voice. Many now wondered if this singular honor would cost the poor girl her life. All took it as a sign of the respect that this young girl had for her commander. _Keelah, I didn't mean to be a distraction, to take anything away from the ceremony. Ancestors, what have I done? This mission isn't over yet! Don't break down in shame now. Get this over with and _then_ throw yourself out an airlock._

Tali's part in the ceremony was done. She let her thoughts travel to other things as the names and responses droned on. Chakwas, Tanaka... She thought of the times she and John had together, the long talks lasting late into the night. The smile that graced the chiseled features of his face every time he set his eyes on her. She thought of the fear of him she had when she first set eyes on him. Then of the respect and finally true admiration that came shortly thereafter.

She thought of the first time he touched her. The first time out of combat anyway.

...

It was gently on the shoulder and it was done merely to get her attention. But it aggravated her. _Whoever you are, you don't know me like that... _

While she was hunched over a container trying to select which variety of nutrient paste to have for lunch, Tali felt a large, most likely masculine hand come to rest on her left shoulder. She was playing the latest Human dance music in her helmet and probably hadn't heard whoever it was- if they had bothered to call her name first- but that was still no excuse. Why not contact me through my omni-tool? Maybe just a tap on the shoulder? Did they really need to place their entire hand with its five wiggly, underdeveloped fingers over my entire shoulder like that? She angrily rounded on the man._ These Humans are so intimate with each other, it's pretty creepy. Only Commander Shepard understands that; he has a Quarian's level of respect for personal space and he expects the same from others toward him. Ah, Commander Shepard..._

"Ah! C-Commander Shepard!" She half screamed, half stammered after originally intending on starting a discussion about Quarian sensibilities with whoever it was. She stared wide-eyed at her commander, her glare of disdain replaced with a look of shock, her right hand now over her heart. As wide as her eyes were, she thought they might be illuminating her whole face.

Definitely not who she was expecting. Anyone but him. He did _not_ need a lecture about personal space. Or rather he did, but one that stressed the Quarian custom of ground commanders cuddling their combat engineers after every mission. Or the Quarian ritual of giving pre- and post-combat back-rubs to anyone named John Shepard. Or the one where...

"Tali," Shepard asked, his eyes showing a tinge of worry, "Everything alright?" He reinforced his question with gentle squeeze from his big, soft, warm hand with its five beautiful, delicate little fingers...

She lost all train of thought for a second. She started to say something, stuttered, started again, then stopped altogether. _Hand. His hand. On shoulder. Just squeezed. Uhhhh... Yeah... Still there. Don't move. Don't move it. Please, Ancestors, don't let him move it yet._

He brought his hand from her shoulder to his waist and locked his thumb into one of his belt loops, mirroring its opposite. The minutest hint of a smirk played across his face. _Does that _bosh'tet_ actually _know_ what he does to me when he's around?_

"I wanted to let you know," John began again, "that I had something better than that stuff," he pointed at the box of tubes she had been digging through, "delivered in the last LOGPAC we got." As he spoke he reached into a cupboard behind her and produced another container.

"Wow, um, th-thank you. I mean, you really shouldn't have spent the ship's money on something like this. I can make due with- "

John raised a hand as a bashful smile played across his face. "Sure you could, but what's done is done. The money's spent so don't waste it now. _I_ certainly won't eat it. Besides, I think you deserve something special for all you've done in this campaign."

A smile crept across Tali's face as she stared into his eyes. One of the benefits of having entirely luminescent eyes is the inability of anyone to distinguish the location of her pupils at any given time. It would have given her away as she contemplated the wonders of the human eye. They were so unique, detailed, and expressive. And so gorgeously colored... Not plain, white, and glowing like hers.

He presented the container to her with both hands. Taking it and opening it, she was speechless for the second time in as many minutes. Then flattered. Then angry. Then flattered again. "_Xemna_? _Louza_? _Kheelie_? Tubes of Turian wine? And Turian chocalate? And... And _ta'cartm te_? John, how, why... How did you get tubes of this stuff?"

"I, well, I ordered it," He stated plainly.

"No, John," her consternation overcoming her nervousness, "I mean _how_ in the Fleet did you order this? I don't think your sister would authorize the funds. And your ADCON unit certainly wouldn't do it." She picked one tube up and examined it closely. "These don't even have Alliance stock numbers on them... Come to think of it, I can't imagine foods of this quality would _ever_ be given ASNs. Just where did you get-"

"So they're good quality?" She would keep going like this if he didn't cut her off. "I'm glad. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to tell the difference when I ordered them from this Turian store I found on the extranet."

Her tilted head combined with the glare she gave him was priceless. And cute. Had she not been so concerned with wasting his money, he was sure he'd end up dodging that tube of whatever it was she was holding. Speaking of which...

"So, Tali, after what we talked about the other day I decided to get the 'Carnivore's Delight' gift pack, prepared Quarian-style, but I have no idea what's in those tubes or how to read them. I was hoping you could explain them to me over dinner tonight."

"Wait, what?" Something in her brain just broke. That must be the case. Instead of their implied agreement to sit together for meals whenever possible, she thought he had just implicitly asked her to dinner. Courting was not a concept she was too familiar with, even when it came to the sparing Quarian version of dating, but she had been reading up on human dating customs. Just maybe... She replayed his words in her head for a few moments. _I'm definitely being 'asked out' as the Humans would say. Ok. Let's keep it together here, girl. One word. That's all I need to say. Here goes._

"Ahhh... Errr... Ah." _I suck. And now I'm twiddling my fingers again. Great. Just great. One more try._

"Sh-Sure," Tali finally managed. _Ancestors, I'm awesome!_

"Fantastic. I'll see you later. Chow is 1830 tonight, don't be late," replied Shepard with a half smile and a wink.

That big, handsome bosh'tet. She could take a Geth trooper in hand to hand combat, shoot a Cerberus operative between the eyes at six hundred meters, and clear a room full of hostile mercs with nothing more than a shotgun and a hidden smile. But whenever he puts her on the spot for any reason, she melts into a puddle of stupid. Why does he do this to her?

Did he really ask her out? Maybe he just wanted someone from his ground team to talk to tonight while he ate. They were the only ones he was close to on the ship. Well, them and Jane. But John wasn't that kind of person, and he and Tali _had_ spent a lot of time together since they first met. She had always figured that he had _liked_ her, but not the way she liked him. Ancestors, there was no possible way a human could like her like that.

But he had saved her life on numerous occasions, given her the very classified data that would make for one of the greatest pilgrimage gifts ever, trusted her to fix his father's ancient pocket watch, defended her in front any damn _det kazuat_ racists that they came across, and he looked out for her on every mission they went on. And now bought this gift of exquisite sterilized dextro meals for her with his own money. _If he were Quarian his intentions couldn't get any clearer if he'd been using the ship's signal lights. So maybe it's about damned time he did ask me out. _

...

More names. More responses. Adams, Lowe... Why had Tali been brought out of these sweet day dreams? She wanted to go back there. Go back to those fantasies where she and John were together. She wanted to climb back inside her own head where she could look forward to some alternate reality that could never be. But no, not at this moment, she realized. There would be a lifetime of daydreaming later. The last name was coming up. His name.

"Lieutenant Commander Shepard," The Command Sergeant Major intoned.

Silence. Tali could only hear the wind as it gently rustled her _realk_. She clenched her fists tight at her sides and hung her head.

"Lieutenant Commander John Shepard," The grizzled veteran spoke louder, firmer this time.

More silence. Tali's heart wrenched. Her throat closed up. Moisture blurred her vision.

"Lieutenant Commander John Alan Shepard" The human was even louder, a stern edge to his voice. It was as if he was genuinely mad that John was out of formation for his own memorial service.

Tali's body was racked with sobs now, her shoulders heaved up with each inhalation and collapsed with each exhale. Her breaths were mostly quick and shallow, interspersed with deep, heaving breaths. Tears were streaming from her eyes. He knees were weak, shaking, and on the verge of giving out.

There were several seconds of silence after hearing John's full name. She waited every one of those seconds for John to answer. Tali hoped, prayed to every Ancestor she had or will ever have for it to all be some big mistake. She wanted him to come running up to that formation sporting cocky grin, saying 'Hey guys, what'd I miss?' _Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen seconds, just give him a few more, ancestors please, please a few more seconds..._

But no, the Command Sergeant Major finished, "Lieutenant Commander John Alan Shepard is our fallen Soldier."

"Ready, aim, fire," another human commanded.

Ancient weapons fired with a deafening report, followed by the sound of the weapons' actions being manually cycled.

"Ready, aim, fire," he said again.

Again the weapons fired and cycled.

"Ready, aim, fire," he said for the third time.

The weapons thundered for the last time, echoing across the hills of Earth.

Tali heard none of this. As soon as she had heard the words 'fallen soldier,' and while still standing at the position of attention, she turned off her vocalizer and began screaming.

**Review the heck out of this, ladies and gentlemen. This is my first fic, and I need the input. I'll absolutely consider any ideas for where this is all going. So show this story some love and there will be plenty more where this comes from.**


	2. What We Leave Behind

**Bioware owns the characters and everything else you can find in the Mass Effect Wiki. Calinstel owns 99.5% of the ideas behind the Quarians that I'm using. **

Chapter 2: What We Leave Behind

Tali stared blankly at the carved, glossy wainscoting in the human attorney's office. Before her stood a large desk made of some dark, no doubt rare, Earth wood. The kind of desk designed to impose a sense of awe in anyone called into the office. It would, and did, have quite the opposite effect on any Quarians visiting the upstart lawyer sitting in the large red leather chair behind it. His office was _enormous_. It was easily six or eight times larger than any room she had ever lived in on the fleet. Such an Ancestors damned waste of resources. There were old pulp-paper books on shelves lining ever inch of both side walls of the office. Someone dusted them daily, but no doubt they remained totally unused otherwise. To the front was the pompous young barrister and that damn wainscoting, with diplomas and degrees just above it. To the rear was the entrance that she, Garrus, and Captain Shepard had passed through, along with more wainscoting and paintings of more pompous varren cloacae... Probably the ones who occupied this very office in generations past.

"It'll be alright, dear," Captain Shepard- _Hannah _she had insisted Tali call her- softly whispered to Tali, her hand coming to rest gently on the younger woman's interlaced fingers. At the gesture, Tali clutched the folded Alliance flag a little tighter against her breast and let out a small sigh. Hannah had seen the way the poor child had almost broken down at the Army ceremony. She then finally lost all control at the Alliance funeral, right about the time the Marine presented John's flag to her and Jane's flag to Hannah. Garrus and Hannah, both glossy-eyed, had tried in vain to comfort girl but met with little success. The tears and sobs had just kept coming, her hands never leaving her face. Somewhere between the cemetery and the attorney's office Tali had ceased displaying emotion altogether. Hannah had seen mechs look more alive.

"Thank you Hannah, but no, no, it won't," calmly replied Tali. No, the twins' mom just didn't understand. She might have had an inkling of what John meant to her, in her own pathetic alien understanding of love. But she just couldn't grasp it. It wasn't her fault, really; it wasn't something Quarians advertised. Tali wasn't about to enlighten her either. There was no sense in adding to the troubles of a women who lost her bondmate and only children.

"Darling, you're young-" At those words Tali feared she might know where this was going and her adrenaline began pumping "-and, sadly, I've been through this before." Tali's fingers began tightening around each other, the claws on her toes began involuntarily scraping the floor, looking for a way out of their armored boots. "The sense of loss will fade with time. You'll never forget him, ever," Hannah continued softly in a resigned tone, "But eventually you'll find some-"

"Stop. Talking. Now." Hannah retracted her hand as if a predator intended to strike. She could barely make out the words spoken by the girl, they were low and mostly masked by a deep reverberating growl. It was almost as if the Quarian had snuck a very angry attack-dog into her suit. Had she been able to see past the girl's visor, the mental image would be one step closer to confirmation. Tali snarled with exposed teeth, complete with a full set of extremely sharp canines, ones that were considered very large even by Quarian standards. _How _dare _she suggest something so utterly _vile?_ Here? Now? And so soon after her own children's deaths? Is that supposed to be some kind of _comfort_ to me? You disgusting animal, how could _He_ come from _You_? I ought to tear your throat out._

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean..." Stammered the captain at a whisper.

"Now!" The growl reached a new crescendo, the occupants of the room could almost feel the reverberations. The lawyer dropped his data pad and sat bolt upright. Tali leaned half a meter closer to Hannah, fire burning in her eyes. Hannah clenched the chair's armrests and tried to push herself as deeply as possible into the plush material supporting her back, away from the Quarian. In an instant her fight or flight response screamed flight, and it was about to take effect before Garrus placed a hand on Tali's back.

"Ladies," the lawyer squeaked, "I think I'm ready to get to the matter at hand. Put aside whatever difference you have until after you leave this office, please."

With Garrus' peaceful stare and gentle urging, Tali calmed herself and returned to a more sedate posture. She listened as the pampered civilian in nice clothes rambled on about their reason for being here. Her elbow on the armrest of her chair now, she brought her fist up and rested her chin on it. John's and Jane's last wills and testaments. She didn't want to be here. She wanted something to remember John by more than anything, but she didn't deserve it. He had done so much for her. And now he wants to give her more, even in death. _Ancestors, and John, if you're- no, you are- with them, how in the Fleet do you expect me repay everything you've given me? I don't need anything more from you. I've taken so much._

Jane had donated her not inconsiderable life savings to a scholarship fund for the children of the Batarian victims of Torfan. It was a lot of money considering there weren't many of those children who made it out alive. Jane would know this. Garrus raised an eye ridge and slightly parted a mandible, but otherwise remained totally motionless. The Turian's attempt at a poker face went unnoticed by Hannah. She simply stared at her own hands.

John's finances were sent to a scholarship fund for the children of those fallen in the defense of Elysium. To Tali it seemed that the two had coordinated their plans for their possible demise. She knew they had sometimes dressed alike on shore leave, but matching wills? Knowing those two it made sense. And they _were_ together in death, wherever they were._ Jane you lucky bosh'tet, why couldn't I die like that? Why was it you and not me? Why couldn't I have taken that pod and been the one to..._

Tali squeezed a few more salty drops from her eyes, and pushed her thoughts and memories down once again._ That's it girl. Calm. Peace. Shut it all away. Make yourself dead inside. You're a machine. Just function. That's all you need now._

Garrus' hand moved from Tali's back to her shoulder, then gave her a few gentle pats. She looked up, nodded, and faced the lawyer again. Garrus had thought she and John had been close, very close if Jane's indication was correct, but this... He had not expected this. Hannah didn't seem anywhere near as broken by events as Tali, and she had lost everyone close to her. Maybe Hannah just didn't care anymore; maybe she just buried it deep. He had seen the reaction of his fellow Squad members' spouses during his time in the Turian military when told of their mates' demise. Some had been married for a decade or more. It was nothing compared to Tali. It was either a Quarian thing or she was a lot closer to John than even Jane let on. Maybe it was both.

Lost in thought, he barely noticed as the young human behind the impressive desk stopped speaking. Returning his attention to the man, Garrus noticed his gaze was fixed on him while holding out a package the size of a pistol.

With a questioning glance from the Turian, the man spoke, "As I said, this was left you by Jane."

"What is it?" Garrus reached out to receive the package. Eyeing it with a look of concern, he twitched his mandibles for a moment and gently raised and lowered the paper wrapped box to gauge its weight. It was definitely heavy for its size.

"Well, I don't know. The will doesn't specify. If you suspect it's something dangerous or illegal, I suggest you wait to open it until you're outside. I can't allow those kinds of things to be transferred from her estate. I am an agent of the court after all, and I would be obligated to report you."

"Oh, it's probably both. That being the case," replied Garrus calmly as he ripped off the wrapping, "you can go fuck yourself," he added with the Turian equivalent of a smirk, one mandible wide, his mouth slightly ajar. Turian vulgarities would have little effect one the man. It was a good thing that he and Jane had spent quite a lot of time at the bar together, gleefully trading insults. The former C-Sec officer and the Alliance commander had learned many things from each other. He continued to eye the lawyer as he reached into the exposed box, intent on proudly displaying whatever it was before the man.

What he felt inside was not what he expected to feel. He didn't have any idea what he was feeling, actually. Opening the box fully, he instantly recognized it. It had been centuries since paper books had been mass-produced on Palaven or any other Turian world. He'd never owned one, of course, they were much too rare and expensive to buy at auction. Human paper-books were much, much cheaper, they either still made them on their worlds or it had not been very long before they stopped. He would have needed to go through his omni-tool to translate any human books, and why would he need to do that when he could just download them to his data pad in something legible? But it now seemed that he owned his first book.

He examined it closely. It was very old and well worn, not like the ones lining his current austere surroundings. The outside cover appeared to be made from faded black leather and was soft and smooth to the touch. Embossed in gold on what he presumed was the front of the book rested a small symbol. Two lines crossed; the one running vertically was slightly longer than the other horizontal one. He remembered seeing this before, but where? Ah, yes. On the wall of Jane's cabin. That was a religious symbol representing one of the Humans' deities. She used to glanced up at it whenever their conversations stumbled between liberal swigs of cheap beer into her prior military service. So, this then was a religious book. If it was anything like similar Turian texts on the Spirits, it would probably have stories, rules, and outlines for conducting proper devotionals to the deity.

Flipping through it, he examined the pages. They were edged in the same gold as the symbol. The pages themselves were tanned, a little worn, and had an almost marbled appearance. As he continued, a group of the pages flopped down as one, revealing a section of the book where a note was placed inside. His eyes narrowed as he hastily glanced at it and shut the book._ That was Jane's handwriting,_ he thought_, it will take time for my omni-tool to decipher her poorly penned scribbles, but it could be done. Private thoughts, maybe? It might be wrong to read this. How long had she known she was going to leave this to me? I hadn't seen this book in her cabin before... And It's impossible that they recovered this from the Normandy. She must have sent this away while on the citadel before Ilos, before we... So she left this in there for me to read. Good to know. _

Tali managed to glimpse the handwritten note from the corner of her eye as it sat wedged between the pages of the book. Her interest was piqued now. Not for the final words of comfort Jane wanted to share with _her_ dextro companion, but for the possibility of what John may have had to say to _his_. She leaned in expectantly to the attorney now, her mood slightly brightened for the moment. She wasn't quite as dead-set on alternating between rage and depression without warning.

"And this, Miss Zorah, is for you." The human looked at her with raised eyebrows as he spoke. In his outstretched hand was a large plastic envelope with a bulge at one end.

"Ah, thank you," she said. With her Quarian lower legs bowed much further back that the Humans' legs that this chair was designed to accommodate, it was very easy for her to sit on the edge of her seat. Not that she needed any help at that particular moment. As she reached for the envelope, the lawyer smiled at her. A small one, but it was there nonetheless. Her thoughts really had been overly harsh toward this man. He was just doing his job. He didn't know John and he certainly wouldn't know how to deal with a grieving Quarian. He hadn't said one racist thing to her nor had he displayed any discomfort in her presence. Professional disposition or genuine sentiment, it didn't matter either way. The events of the past week and a half were souring her usually bubbly demeanor and she didn't like it.

She opened the envelope. John's father's ornate little pocket watch fell out, the one she had fixed. Her eyes were alight with hope. _This thing opens in the front! He left me a message in there!_

Her hands trembled as she tried to thumb the release, her fingers failing to find purchase at first. When they did, the front cover popped open and... Nothing. Not only that, but she noticed it was broken. Again. The hands were stuck at 3:14 and no amount of winding or shaking the damn thing would fix it. _Are you kidding John? No message of undying devotion? No soothing words of love? Not even a 'Sorry I caught a bad case of death, better luck next lifetime'? Wait, there's another place he could have put his message. Of course it'll be in there! I'm the only one outside of a museum who knows how to get the damn back off this thing._

All eyes in the room were on Tali as the panoply of emotions played out in her body language. No one knew what to expect from the currently unstable young lady. Hannah was stone faced but weary. She noticed the Quarian's obvious agitation when she opened the watch an realized to wasn't functional. After shaking it and winding it, the young girl had started to taking the backing plate off the watch in an attempt to fix it.

"Tali," Hannah spoke softly, "I'm sorry it's broken, but if it makes you feel any better he wanted me to send this back to him just after your citadel battle so you could fix it for him again. He had faith you get it working."

Tali registered the elder Shepard's misplaced attempt at comfort with a sideways glance. Finally she managed to open the back of the watch with a couple of small tools and some ingenuity. As she looked inside her heart fell out. She wanted to burn the world. She wanted to stab the evil uncaring lawyer right between the eyes and take his slick-haired scalp as a trophy. She wanted to hear his screams and his cries for mercy as he struggled under her hateful ministrations from behind his ugly desk in this Acestors-be-damned waste of resources he called an office. She wanted to enact such terror on that vile old hag next to her that it would make the lawyer's fate pale in comparison. She'd be doing the twins' memory a favor. But no, that wasn't her, not even now in this terrible state. Instead, she simply shut her eyes, stood up, opened them again, and silently walked out of the room. _Nothing. There's not a damn thing in there. Just the way I feel. Empty and nothing. I'm an empty shell full of nothing. Like a husk. Being a husk might not be so bad, really. I probably wouldn't even know I was one. Would they even take a Quarian? Doubt it. Heh. I'm not even good enough to be a husk. Oh, well, I've got a lifetime of daydreaming and monotonous work ahead of me, so I'd better get started. I guess I really am daddy's little girl._

**Review the heck out of this, ladies and gentlemen. This is my first fic, and I need the input. I'll absolutely consider any ideas for where this is all going. So show this story some love and there will be plenty more where this comes from.**


	3. PreCombat Inspections

**Bioware owns the characters and everything else you can find in the Mass Effect Wiki. Calinstel owns 99.5% of the ideas behind the Quarians that I'm using. The rest is mine. **

Chapter 3: Pre-Combat Inspections

_January 18th, 2183, 10:12:36_

The Normandy's cargo bay bustled with activity. Every member of the ground team was participating in the organized chaos of pre-combat inspections. Each of the dozen or so marines, as well as the two non-human volunteers, had all of their individual combat gear spread out in on the floor in front of them. On one wall, members of the Normandy's operations section had several displays hanging in preparation for the Commander's briefing, with a holo projector just beneath it. Jane stood in full N7 armor at the base of the holo talking intently with Operations Chief McGraw. Her dark red hair bobbed up and down as she spoke, loose strands invading her vision with each nod or head turn. The scowl on her face belied the respect she held for the very senior non-com.

"This has to be perfect," she growled, still groggy from last night's binge, "If John's raiding _that_ dive, there's gonna be trouble. If there's trouble, he's got to be prepared."

"Yeah, XO, we're on it," replied McGraw with a genuine smile, "We pulled the layout of the place and the surrounding area from citadel public records." He gestured at the detailed three dimensional holo of Chora's Den and its various avenues and approaches.

She began pulling some bobby pins out of one of her utility pockets. "Circular bar inside a circular room... Ugh, this is gonna be real a fuck-show."

"Yeah, it'll be tough. Once John gets back and briefs us we'll know more about what we're up against and... and... What're you doing, Ma'am?"

"What? Just pinning back my hair. Got a problem with seeing your XO's face?"

"No, no, heh. But why?" He said with narrowed eyes and a voice as flat as his expression, "I mean why are you doing it?"

"You know damn well why."

"Yeah, I do, and it's a bad idea. I don't care what the captain says, it's not your job-"

"And I don't care what you say, my baby brother isn't going into that pit without me," she finished before quickly checking her helmet's fit over her restrained crimson bob and turning away.

"I thought you were twins!" the chief called after her as she strut toward the preparing marines.

"Thirty seconds older is still older!" the XO yelled back without turning, helmet now in hand.

The chief shook his head as her turned back to the holo, adding one more squad member icon to the group of icons stacked together outside the front of the holographic Chora's Den. He typed in the letters _X_ and _O_. _Whatever_, he thought,_ it's not my job to stop hot-headed young officers. It's my job to keep them alive._

He considered the holo for a second longer before moving Jane's icon from the middle of the stack to the very front.

Although the marines had spread out to make checking their kit a little easier, the hold was still difficult for Lieutenant Alenko to navigate through as he inspected the gear. As he did, he noticed Jane as she sauntered up to him. His left eyebrow lifted and a smile spread across his face. Shepard moved like a tigress wherever she went. He'd never met such a combination of beauty and danger, rage and charm, in a single living person.

He set down one of the corporals' weapons and stood to address his counterpart aboard the ship. "As you were corporal," he addressed the young marine before turning to Shepard. "Ma'am? how can I help you?"

"Stuff it XO." She said aloud. Her hand moved to his shoulder and pulled him in for a conspiratorial whisper. "Get me some gear, Kaidan. Don't mention it to Johnny. He'll figure it out, but not before it's too late."

Judging by the helmet he had seen her trying on moments ago, he knew what she was up to well before her demand. "Fine _XO_," he stressed her similar position, "just don't tell him I had anything to do with this."

Kaidan broke away from Jane to fulfill her request. As he started away, he felt a firm smack on his behind. He turned his head to glare at the woman before continuing on his was to the marine supply hold. She was a walking sexual harassment complaint around all the males and even some of the females. He had figured out rather quickly that it was just a game to her, one of the many ways she liked to display her power over others.

Very shortly after he came aboard, the ground team XO and the ships XO had briefly met for drinks at a dance club. The meeting ostensibly took place to discuss the coordination between the ship and the marines during missions. She had marched right up to his table, after keeping him waiting for a good forty-five minutes, and sat right on his lap. He had thought there might be something between them, oh yes, and he was quite the lady's man. He had enjoyed their easy conversation over drinks as much as her arousing presence on his thighs. This kept up for a while before she draped her arm behind his neck and across his shoulders. Taking his cue, Kaidan had brought his lips to her neck and moved his hands from their grip on her hips to cup her breasts, his thumbs and forefingers searching for her nipples from over her shirt.

The next thing he had remembered, he was looking up from the floor as she stood over him. His skull hurt like hell. "Try that again, and I'll have John deal with you."

He remembered looking up at her with dumbfounded awe an confusion, his mouth wide in shock. She had made a snorting sound and landed a huge glob of mucus and spit right into the open target and then walked out. As he rolled over and started to gag, he heard her parting words, "Enjoy it XO! That's as close as we'll ever get to making out."

_Yes, that's just how she is_, Kaidan thought ruefully as he collected what she'd need for the raid.

Jane took in the sight of the marines as they prepared for the rescue mission. They were the best of the best. John's unit was had had more combined hours of combat action than most entire battalions. Not to mention some of the best training that the Alliance could provide. John hadn't been with the unit more than a year, but each and every one of them, down to the newest corporal, was a consummate professional. These people would get the job done.

The aliens were a different matter entirely. Jane wasn't worried about the Krogan too much; damn near a thousand years of constant battle might put the Battlemaster just about on par with an Alliance Service Chief... In the Reserves... Maybe... Either way, he would draw a lot of fire from John and his marines and he probably knew which way to point his weapons.

The Turian on the other hand... Jane did _not_ want him going into combat with John. He was nice enough, and she would be willing to listen to him read from the extranet address registry for hours just to hear that voice, but he'd only get in the way. A civilian cop didn't have any business being involved with military operations, no matter how much 'training' they had. _Damn I hate cops so much. Why the hell did Nee have to bring that pig aboard? I'll have to talk to the boss about his choice of recruits._

She approached the Turian and examined the gear he had laid out. "Hey pig," she said with a smirk, "where's your helmet?"

"_Pig_? That comes through my translator as 'omnivorous domesticated food animal.' If you were a Turian female you'd be hitting on me."

"You-"

"I don't have a helmet," he interrupted her with a raised hand and mandibles wide, "because I don't need one. Insulting your crew? Are you always this unprofessional?"

"Yes. So I guess your head is bullet proof?"

"It is. Why the concern?"

"Whatever. I don't care about _you_, but without a helmet someone might shoot straight through your skull and into something important. Like a stray pyjack."

"Oh, an animal lover are we?"

"No, a human lover," her tone then shifted to be calmer, more serious, "Look, Garrus, if you don't wear a helmet, someone's might put one right through your shields and into your ugly mug."

"You worry too much, Shepard. I'm too handsome." By way of demonstration he smiled wide, mouth open and mandibles as far apart as they would go. "No one would ever want to ruin a face like this."

"Ugh. Just stay behind me or that dinosaur-tank," she stuck a thumb back at the Krogan currently regaling a group of marines with tales of hard won bounties, "And try not to fumble-fuck around in there."

She thought she heard the Turian spare a final insult as she was leaving. As she stepped up to Wrex, the clustered marines caught glimpses of her approach. By the time she was standing before the Battlemaster, all those assembled had suddenly found that they had other equipment they had forgotten to check.

"Human," grumbled the Krogan.

"Krogan," replied the Human.

With that, she turned on her heel to find her brother's new gunny.

She found the dark hair woman secluded and kneeling in a corner with two male marines, discussing something in hushed voices. This was not encouraging. Jane knew the woman was young, _very_ young for a the Alliance's second highest enlisted rank. That meant she was either really good at what she did or she had slept her way up the pay grades. Seeing the woman so close to the two attractive marines before a high-intensity mission, she concluded it was the latter. _What a whore._

"Gunny?"

"Yes Ma'am?" The chief stopped talking and looked up at the XO.

"I just wanted to see what you were up to." Now Jane understood. She forgot what it was called, but Williams was holding a loosely beaded, chain necklace with a cross dangling from it. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your, uh, thing."

"No, no, we were just wrapping up." Either by design or direction, the two other marines dispersed from the prayer session. "This ship doesn't have a chaplain, so I decided to fill in. You might consider joining us some time."

"Ha, ha, no. Just... No. I don't think God wants anything to do with me. But I respect you people. Ah, your faith I mean." Jane tried to think of a way to retract her foot from her mouth, "And I'll see about getting a chaplain to conduct a service or two next time we're in an Alliance port."

"It's alright skipper, I don't mind. I'll just go and make sure the special teams are all squared away." said the chief as she replaced the rosary around her neck and turned to check on her troops.

At the sound of raucous cheers and welcoming voices, Jane turned to check on the commotion. A small group of marines had gathered around the entrance of the cargo bay, complete with the two aliens pushing their way to its center. _That must be Nee, better go see what he's got for us. _

As she approached, John began waving off the last of the group. "Garrus, Wrex, I'd like you to hear this." He gestured for Ashley and Kaidan to join him. "Gunny, LT, I need you guys here too. Sis, you looked overdressed for you shift on the bridge."

"Yup, but not for this smash-and-grab. Don't complain to the old man, you're only going to make him have to play favorites. Besides my stuff is already stowed," she added with a heavily lidded glance toward Kaidan and the slight curl of a lip.

"I'm not happy about this. But I don't have time to argue." He retrieved his watch, "It's 1048 now, we're moving in _exactly_ four hours. We'll discuss this later, Sis." He then pulled up his omni-tool and began typing. "LT, Gunny, this is your warno. I've transferred the intel we have on the situation to your omnis, along with the rough plan Chief McGraw and I drew up while on my way here. Please follow along as I go over it with you."

He proceeded to go over the plan, it's various contingencies, likely enemy forces, placement of personnel on the raid, likely locations of enemy personnel and the target, and much more, all using the three dimensional map provided by the Operations Chief. John and Jane had a short spat about who would take point on the raid, which ended with John acquiescing to Jane's demands to be the first one in.

When he got to the intel about the target, he paused. "This is the most recent holo we have of her." Six omni-tools now had the image of one Tali'Zorah nar Rayya hovering above them. She appeared to be in the middle of hacking something, right hand to her omni-tool as she bent at the waist. A collapsed shotgun rested at the small of her back.

"Is that a-" started Ashley, pointing at the object.

"Yes, she's heavily armed. She sought out the shadow broker, so she's either really dangerous or really stupid, which is also really dangerous. She doesn't know we're coming to extract her, so her disposition is unknown. I'm working on something to make sure she doesn't light us up."

"Ok, Sir, just asking the obvious, but what does she look like?" Kaidan asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I know what you're thinking, LT, but we're not going to know that. I've dealt with Quarians before and they rarely leave their suits or show their faces, if ever. You're thinking, 'It could be anyone in that suit, how do we know it's her?' Well, what I'm working on will solve that problem too." Turning to Ashley now, "Chief, what's the status of the special teams?"

"Well the medic is all set, she's taking suit patches, dextro imuno-boosters, dextro antibiotics, and a litter in addition to her normal kit. Garrus took over the designated marksman roll after Eden Prime, after..." She thought about the mission that took the life of the team's previous Gunnery Chief and seriously wounded two others, "But I've schooled Garrus on Human tactics and I feel he's good to go. He can certainly shoot."

At this Garrus afforded himself a small smile and nodded his head in recognition.

"The breaching team is going to be an issue; Jones was our engineer," she considered Eden Prime's three casualties again, "We are going to have huge problems now or in the future if we don't beg, borrow, or steal a new one. I've submitted a request-for-fill with battalion, but this whole campaign might be over before we ever get one."

"I need a solution, Chief," stated John simply.

"Well, if things go well and nothing needs to be hacked, we won't have an issue on the mission. Fredericks thinks he can place the breaching charges if we need them, and I've had him reading the demolitions field manual since Jones was medivac'ed to Terra Nova."

"And if things don't go well?"

"Well, we've got extra breaching charges and some packets of high explosives. Beyond that, Sir, I'll have to get back to you." She moved onto the next topic, "The EPW team is ready to go as well, they'll follow the main effort to collect any prisoners. When they're done they'll search the prisoners or any bodies for OSD's, data-pads, and any other useful intel. And don't worry, we haven't forgotten about the data you're looking for. If the Quarian dies, they'll search her too."

"Just make sure they don't remove any part of her suit or mask."

"Okay, it might make it harder but we'll-"

"Wait, no, just give me some flexi-cuffs and let me handle the Quarian, alive or dead. If her body needs to be de-suited, I'll try and find some Quarians to do it. Alright," he said with the clap of his hands, "LT, Gunny, you've got work to do. Give the warno to the troops, practice stacking and room clearing... See if you can get a full sized holo of that bar in here to practice inside. Garrus, Wrex, Jane, stay for a moment."

With the Kaidan and Ashley gone, he turned to his cadre of volunteers. "Alright, there's something I couldn't mention over the comm. We need one more piece of intel on the Quarian."

"Okay, but how can we help?"

"Lemme explain, Sis. We need proof of identity for this girl. What we," he said gesturing to himself and Jane, and for the benefit of the Turian and Krogan, "do before we get deployed is come up with a list of questions and answers that only apply to us and submit it to higher. For example, my question would be 'What's your favorite aircar?' And my answer would be 'The 2182 Jaguar V-Series' because Jaguars are awesome. Then, if we're ever captured, anyone who's rescuing us will ask the question and we'll give the answer. I know they're friendly and they know it's me."

"Why would you need to do something like that?" asked the Krogan.

"Just in case our captors decide to stage a fake rescue to get us to spill any military secrets," retorted the CO.

"And just who would do something like that?" questioned the Turian.

"Humans." replied the commander, giving Garrus a new perspective on the Relay 314 incident. "So," continued the ground team commander, "Here's where you guys come in. We need to see if this Quarian has something similar. We should find out where the nearest Quarian vessel is and see if they can give us anything useful. Jane, you can use Alliance channels, Wrex, I'm sure you've got hundreds of contacts you can wade through, and Garrus-"

"Say no more John, say no more," interrupted the former C-Sec officer with a smile as he brought up his omni-tool. "Shepard, you and Wrex can take a nap. I'll have the list of all Quarian vessels docked in or moored near the citadel, complete with crew manifests, in five seconds."

John and Jane stared at the Turian with identical facial expressions of wonder. Jane crossed her arms and pushed out a hip.

"All yours," said Garrus after four and a half seconds, a smile plain in his voice.

John's omni-tool beeped, and sure enough, there it was. John intently sifter through the data. "Okay, lets see here... Only one. The _Nareeda_ is docked at port 216 taking on supplies. It's returning to the Migrant Fleet after conducting four weeks of boarding planetary assault training over an undisclosed planet. Huh," John pondered for a second, "that's marine training; there must be a marine detachment."

"Yes, generally that's what that means" said Jane with a roll of her eyes. She earned a glance from John that said _'I am not amused.'_

John pulled up the ship's registry and began scanning the names of the Fleet marines. "I'll be damned," he said after a moment. "If you'll all excuse me, I have to find someone."

**Review this chapter please!  
**


	4. My Name Is Commander Shepard

**Bioware owns the characters and everything else you can find in the Mass Effect Wiki. Calinstel owns 99.5% of the ideas behind the Quarians that I'm using. The rest is mine. **

Chapter 4: My Name Is Commander Shepard**  
**

_January 18th, 2183, 11:01:07_

The four Quarian marines, one male, three female, all suited in red, sat together at the small table enjoying the little free time they had before their departure. The male leaned in his chair, rocking it slightly back and forth with only its rear legs making contact with the sticky floor. All four were involved in an animated discussion over drinks, concerning the recent spate of intense training working its way through the various Migrant Fleet units.

"Well, wherever they send us," stated the male with finality and over the din of the bar scene, "It'll be interesting."

"I agree," replied the female to his immediate left, her voice soft and tone morose. The male brought his chair back down and angled his audio pickup closer to her in an attempt to hear over the many fellow marines around them.

Catching his action, she leaned further into him and continued, "I said 'I think you are correct.' I do not think orbital insertions are standard fare for mere pirates." One of her elbows rested on the table, her fist propping up her chin. Behind her jade visor, glowing eyes scanned the male from top to bottom, resting on the drink he held. "Shall I request another beverage for you?"

"Let me get it! I was getting up anyway. Dextro-Salarian Sunset, right?" Interrupted the female sitting to the male's right, eyes alight behind an equally bright pink visor.

"Turian whiskey, straight up," mumbled the female with the jade visor, too low for anyone to hear.

"Turian whiskey! Straight up!" called the male to the pink visored Quarian's back as she reached the bar.

"Of course!" she acknowledged him with a wave. The Quarian with the jade visor almost imperceptibly shook her head as she lowered it, along with her gaze, onto her next tube of Asari-made dextro ale.

"So... Seera, you really kicked quad out there," the male started, addressing the woman contemplating her drink to his left, "Just like that time things went sideways on Talis Fia."

"Well, I certainly don't think I did anything spe-"

"Oh, you kicked quad also, Neyha," the female with the deep red visor sitting to Seera's left addressed the male, her hand now reaching across for the man's, "You kicked _a lot_ of quad."

"Thanks, Heret, you weren't too bad yourself..." The male noticed her hand snaking its way for the one he had resting on the table at about the same time he glimpsed the pink visored young Quarian returning with his drink. Deciding to kill two avians with a single stone, he grabbed his empty tube with his imperiled hand and preferred it to the eager marine. "Reyno, thank you so much," he said louder than necessary.

She took the empty tube and traded it for the full one. The male deftly placed it on the table and dropped his hand onto his lap, fingers intertwining with its opposite. Reyno swayed her hips a bit as she walked the refuse back to the bar. She glanced behind her toward the male before dropping the tube in the trash container; seeing that the eye contact was not returned, she rejoined the others at the table.

The male eyed the new tube and discreetly shook it to confirm that is was, in fact, laden with ice, "Just the way I like it," he thanked her before inserting it in his helmet's slot. _So much space for whiskey, wasted with ice_, he thought to himself.

None of the friendly group noticed the human in full combat armor confidently striding towards them. Between the heavy thudding of combat boots on the ceramic floor and the band of bright red running down his right sleeve, he would have been hard to miss in an ordinary setting. But a loud and dingy bar catering to, and currently packed with, energetic Quarians was not an ordinary setting. His route to the table was now clear but he had spent the past five minutes making his way through dozens of inebriated marines from a species that considered personal space to be both much smaller and much more valuable. There was no shoving or nudging one's was through this group.

"So, you jarhead son-of-a bitch, here you are!" declared John to the male, "Kal'Reegar, I didn't know when I'd ever get to buy you that drink."

He offered his hand to the marine, and suddenly realized his mistake. About a year and a half ago, he learned two very important lessons about Quarians. Firstly, that when a race has a military as small as the Quarians do, it meant that that military had to be incredibly tough. Secondly, he learned that 'jarhead' did not mean the same thing to Quarians as it did to Humans. Presently he realized he forgot the second lesson.

Kal just leaned back in his seat, again balancing it on its back two legs, and rested his hands on the back of his helmet. Seera's demeanor brightened ever so slightly. The faintest hint of a smile evident in her eyes as they shined through he visor. She sipped her ale and, like Kal, prepared for the show to come. No one else in the bar noticed anything at all, save for Heret and Renyo. They had an entirely different reaction to the armored alien who stormed up to their squad leader and hurled racist insults at him.

In unison, the two women stood up with enough force to knock back their chairs. Renyo started towards Shepard. Not wanting her fleet sister take all the credit for kicking this Human _Fre'eg_'s behind, Heret brought herself to within striking distance of the man.

John held up both hands and made gestures of mollification while giving a pleading stare to Kal and mouthing the word 'help.'

Just as Heret fiercely grabbed John with both hands, each gripping a section of chest plate between the shoulders and upper arms, Kal raised both his hands high into the air. "Ladies! Ladies. Please forgive this backwards-walking _bosh'tet_, his translator seems to be _fre'eg_'d up... _Again_," he stressed the last word, "You know Humans, never know how to fix anything."

"Well maybe he should use all that Human money he has and by himself a new one," retorted Heret sarcastically, her gaze narrowing on the newcomer.

"Well, John, you can certainly buy my drinks," Kal decided to change the subject, "but don't forget I owe you one too. Please pull up a chair," he nodded to one sitting unused at an adjacent table.

"I think I owe you one too," came a soft, sophisticated voice, "Or you owe me one. Either way, the three of us are all indebted to each other at this point."

"Seera!," John said with a broad grin as he recognized the woman across from him for the first time. "What in the galaxy are you doing still hanging around this guy?" indicating Kal with his thumb.

"I just don't know, John, but I suppose someone has to keep this uncouth Vorcha in check."

"Right! Manners. Thanks Seera," Kal briefly squeezed her shoulder in genuine gratitude. Kal didn't notice Seera's eyes close as she took in the sensations, cursing herself for not setting her suit's nerve-stim program to record. Nor did he notice the glares of jealousy from the other two females to John's right and left.

"This is Renyo'Intari vas Retala," Kal indicated the woman with the pink visor to John's left.

The young woman began furiously waving, "Any friend of Kal's is a friend of mine!"

"And this is Heret'Daran vas Vasa." Kal nodded to the woman to John's right.

"His Neyha. Nice to meet you," Heret offered a curt nod with arm crossed under her bust.

"Likewise," mumbled John.

"And of course you know Seera'Vael vas Idenna"

"Always a pleasure madam," John mocked her manner of speech and bowed his head.

"Of course it is for one such as yourself, _darling_," she offered her hand, palm down, "I wish I could say the same..."

As if following a script, John smiled and gently clasped the hand then followed by placing a soft slow kiss between the two knuckles. The women on each side of John were repulsed into submission by the act but Kal let out a hearty howl of laughter and firmly patted Seera on the back. Seera simply placed the hand over her mask's voice-light in mock chagrin.

"Ladies," Kal explained, "This Human is John Shepard. We three go all the way back to that _training_ mission we did together. The one we mentioned earlier. Talis Fia. He earned the Heart of _Kaeli'steiz _medal with us."

The two women feigned interest and awe with the revelation and quickly turned back to Kal. When another war story wan not forthcoming, they idly sipped their drinks.

"So," Shepard decided to make some more light conversation before getting to the reason why he had tracked down his one-time brother-in-arms, "vas Vasa? Sounds _a little alliterative_ for a Quarian vessel." _Praise be to the pun-gods_, John thought,_ I hope it translates._

"Ugh." It did. "So you know just enough about us to question us? Well, the _Vasa_ is a fine and powerful ship. One of the newest and most advanced in the Fleet. She's very spacious too." This was a point of particular pride for the woman. "But sometimes we can't alter a ship's registry when we buy it or find it. It was only a year ago that we cracked her encryption code. It was military-grade. By then, no one wanted to change the name; we had all gotten used to it."

"Oh. So where did you get this ship? The name sounds vaguely familiar."

"It should. It was Human. She was scuttled in neutral space after taking serious damage from those Turian bastards over Shanxi," concluded Heret.

"The Quarians, um, cracked Alliance military encryptions?"

"Well-"

"So, John, what's brings you here?" Kal quickly interjected.

"Right. Can we talk in private?"

"Of course. Head's this way," Kal indicated the bathroom in the back-left corner of the bar. The three rivals remained at the table, each sizing the other up.

When they reached the bathroom, John hastened to explain. "There's a Quarian girl on pilgrimage here on the citadel who has sensitive intelligence. It's important to the Alliance, the Council, and some very bad people. We need to get her out of danger and get that data into safe hands."

"Ok, we can absolutely help, but we're not armed. Our ship is on lockdown, so changing that is out of the question for the time being. I think we'd only get in the way if we just blindly rush in there next to a bunch of armed humans."

"That's alright, buddy. We are more than prepared for this. I just need something I can use so that she doesn't shoot us thinking we're the bad guys. It should also be something so we know it's her. We Humans use a question and answer system. The rescuers poses a question that's unique to the one being rescued. The one being rescued gives their unique answer. It's all prearranged."

"I think I understand. We Quarians have something similar..." At this, John gave a sigh of relief. Kal was a little reticent, "It's a passphrase. I can get it for you. It's reserved for returning to the fleet after venturing out or for emergencies and I think this qualifies. She _will_ have to make a new one after revealing it to Alliance personnel like this. No offense."

"None taken," John replied earnestly.

"So, what's her name?" Questioned Kal.

"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

A look of shock crossed Kal's face and was made obvious by his body language. "My _Dram'zelt din relai_? Ancestors damn it, Shepard, if it was anyone else in the Galaxy telling me this, I'd knock them out, take their rifle and storm the place myself. You better get her back without a single scratch."

"Don't worry, she'll be fine," he genuinely hoped, "Is she your girlfriend? Uh, daughter? Hmm, how old are you, anyway?"

"Listen, you _Usl'sa yze tabb_, we don't have time for games. She's my sister. Not by blood, but as close to me as you are to yours. I transferred the phrase to your omni-tool. Memorize it. When you see her, read half to her and ask her for the other half. It should work. Now get the hell out of here."

"Thanks buddy," John turned to leave the bathroom.

"Oh, and Shepard," Kal said as John waved his had to slide the door open, "When she's safe, have her call me."

...

_January 18th, 2183, 14:48:00_

John stood in front of the formation. They had been training up to the very last minute. Everything had to be perfect. No casualties, everyone goes home. That was the idea anyway. John had returned hours ago with the last bit of information they needed. He had passed it on to Jane, Kaidan, and Ashley just in case anything should happen to him.

After a last minute accounting of all personnel, John finished simply, "Show time, people. Let's make it happen."

...

_January 18th, 2183, 15:07:46_

The first part of the ground team was in position outside the front door of Chora's Den, Fredericks at the front. He wouldn't be entering first, only placing and detonating the breaching charge. If all went well, he wouldn't be entering at all. He secured the charge to the door and gave a thumbs up. Behind him was Jane, who would actually be the first into the room. John made her swear up and down that she wouldn't go all vanguard on him and charge headlong into biotic-fueled close combat. Fratricide would be a serious enough risk in a circular room without her being danger-close to half the enemies. She gave a thumbs up. John, behind her, gave a thumbs up. Just as close behind him was Garrus and he continued the gesture. Then Wrex did the same, followed by Kaidan then Ashley. When everyone down the stack made a thumbs up, the last person in line squeezed the shoulder of the person in front of him. Each team member squeezed the shoulder of the person in front of them in turn, until the motion traveled up the line to the very front.

The instant Fredericks felt the ship's XO squeeze his shoulder he closed his eyes and thumbed the detonator. All hell broke loose. He ran from one side of the door to the other, covering the team's entry from that angle.

Jane ran through the door and turned right, firing rounds and rounds into anyone with a gun. Giving the benefit of the doubt to those who had yet to draw on the intruders, she screamed "Get down! Get down!" at the top of her lungs. None chose to heed her warnings.

John took the hairpin turn after entering and went left. Feeling his adrenaline surge he also called for surrender. The result was then same.

Garrus took the right side approach behind Jane, picking off gunmen as they popped up from behind, or in some cases from above, the bar.

Wrex followed John and never bothered to say a word, firing on anything that he even thought might be trouble.

The rest of the team followed suit, but before they were even in all the way, it was over.

"Jane," called the brother to his sister, "It's time." He nodded to Wrex as well.

In an instant Jane issued a war-cry and charged at the bar, leaping over it, intent on ending the life of anyone foolish enough to think they could wait out the raid and shoot them in the back. The Krogan stood by with biotics at the ready to support Jane from a distance. Much to Jane's disturbing delight, she managed to find a grenade wielding defender hiding inside one of the bar's cabinets. He met his demise at the full length of Jane's eighteen inch bayonet.

Search completed, Jane called out, "She's not here." As she walked past casualties on her way to the next door, she would place her bayonet in the eye of each and every one, kicking them over so they were face up if needed, before pulling the trigger of her shotgun. Some of the marines were disgusted, some indifferent. All were weary of the obviously unstable Butcher of Torfan. Garrus tried not to notice.

"I _really_ like your Sister," grumbled Wrex. John glanced at the Krogan and grimaced.

"Alright people. Keep moving. Find work," John said flatly, "Fredericks get over here and have another breaching charge ready. Tanaka and Gernovich, post up at the entrance. EPW get in here and do your thing; treat the wounded... If you find any."

John signaled the group to halt and get down. He whispered into his team's comm channel, "Jane, I saw movement in the hallway leading out the back of the bar. Have everyone from your side double back and form up on me."

With a nod, Jane led Garrus, Kaidan, and half a dozen marines clockwise around the interior perimeter of the bar to link up with John and his group. "High-Low?" Inquired Jane when she joined her brother.

"Sure. You and Garrus," he said with a nod to the Turian.

Jane took a wide crouch before the opening of the hallway, shotgun pointing down so no part of her was visible to anyone who might be in the hall. Garrus stood above the woman, left knee in her back, right leg splayed out a little further out. His rifle pointed high in the air, also to keep its long barrel from giving away his presence to those lying in wait. He brought his hand down to the back of Jane's neck, two talons slipping all the way between her armored back plate and the thin shirt she wore underneath.

Jane looked up at Garrus, "I'll take front to back, you take back to front." It only made sense that way; Garrus' rifle and skill set made him better suited to picking off targets further back, while Jane's shotgun and impatience made her better suited to closer enemies.

Garrus shifted his eyes down for the briefest of moments and nodded. With an unspoken signal between the two, they rounded the corner as one, pivoting on their left feet as their right feet swung wide. Immediately Jane brought her weapon up and fired, while Garrus leveled his down and did the same. Before even could John register what had happened, the two returned to their starting position neatly hidden behind the corner leading to the hallway.

"I got the one further back; saw two more round a corner. Lightly armored though," provided the Turian.

"I didn't get mine," Jane hissed through clenched teeth. "Only one thing for it."

John nodded and Jane resumed her place at the front, while Fredericks took the rear. With the same practiced technique, the group lined up, signaled, and stormed the hallway.

It was over rather quickly. The guard Jane had missed was hiding behind a barrier as the woman approached. Seeing the obstruction, she wasn't about to move past it without clearing it first.

"Cover me!" she called as she drew to a halt before the object and brought her weapon to the right.

John pressed close to his sister, his assault rifle moving behind her head to cover the direction they had been traveling. If Garrus was right, there would be two more idiots ahead of them. Garrus, for his part, kneeled below the woman, her shotgun now inches above his head, while he also covered their front.

Before he could even bring his eye to the scope, however, Jane's shotgun erupted above him. He heard the dull thud as the guard hit the ground. Without so much as a moment to catch their breath, the entire group resumed their positions and moved onward like a well-oiled killing machine.

The final two men didn't stand a chance. Jane saw the armed individuals and charged. She picked the one on the right for the honor of being first, her bayonet finding blood for the second time that day. She released her left hand from the fore-grip of her shotgun to catch the pistol-hand of the other guard, effectively preventing it from aiming at her. Simultaneously she pulled the trigger of the her weapon, then proceeded to release that hand from the weapon as well. The first guard slumped to the floor, his knees and the imbedded shotgun suspending him above the ground in a grisly tripod while blood and organs fell from the two devastating wounds. The second guard fared no better, if with a little more dignity. Jane hit him hard with a biotic punch from her free hand, killing him the instant her fist contacted flesh, and sent him reeling into the nearby wall.

John examined the two bodies, one crumpled by the wall, the other surrounded by a large and growing pool of blood and offal. "Jane, I think these may not have been guards."

"Whatever, Nee. They had guns." She kicked over the suspended carcass of the first man and, with a firm grip on her shotgun, began stomping her boot into the man's partially excavated chest, giving her the added leverage she needed to withdraw her entrenched weapon.

"Yes, they were clean kills," added Garrus somberly.

"Thank you, Skull-Face," replied the woman, presenting a wide and authentic grin to the Turian. She left a single trail of bloody footprints as she returned to the group.

The team regrouped and resumed their march. It wasn't more than a couple dozen more meters before they encountered Fist, obviously shot from before. The man was smart; the fact that he had abandoned his weapon kept him alive for the moment.

"W-Wait! Don't shoot!" he begged.

"Why not?" John would never kill an unarmed man, but he didn't need to know that.

"I have the information you need. You're searching for the Quarian, right? Promise me you'll let me live and I'll tell you where to find her."

"Alright, deal." John turned to the Krogan, "Wrex, don't kill him."

"Why not?"

"Because there's seventeen of us and one of you. And besides," he added, "you don't need this bounty. It's beneath you. There are better things out there. Enemies tougher than you can imagine that we can all go up against. Is giving up all that worth collecting on this puke? I'll even buy out the Shadow Broker's contract."

"Fine," snarled the Krogan. "I hope your Alliance has a lot of money and you have a lot of people who hate you."

"True on both counts," John turned to the fallen bar owner, "Talk fast."

"She in an alley near here. Just go out that door," he pointed further down the hallway, "It opens right into it."

"Alright, get out of my sight." He turned to the squad, "Move to the door. Stack up, Fredericks get that charge placed, Jane, I'm taking point. No argument."

Jane nodded as the group moved into position. One important rule of warfare, John realized, is that no plan survives first contact with the enemy. This, it seems, was no exception. Just as Fredericks placed the charge, and while many of the rest of the group were still checking over their gear, a muffled blast could be heard from the other side of the door.

"Hit it!" John screamed with a tightening grip on Fredericks' shoulder.

...

_January 18th, 2183, 15:12:37_

Tali had been waiting patiently for hours, expecting the Shadow Broker to show up at any second. _This is getting ridiculous. What kind of information broker keeps their contacts waiting for this long? This data is might be his biggest find in years. Why would he wait so long without... Unless-_

"Hey beautiful. You got the data?"

Tali jerked her head in the direction of the voice. It was a slimy voice, the kind of voice that accompanied a man who was used to getting what he wanted from people who were used to giving it to him. A Turian swaggered his way up to her, stopping less than a meter in front of the young Quarian, his talon caressing her arm and shoulder. Two armored Salarians weren't far behind. _What the? Why in the name of the Ancestors does this diseased varren think he can touch me? This is bad. There's going to be a fight after all. I won't let it end like this. The two Salarians are standing- just _standing_- in front of perfectly good cover. They're expecting some naive girl so I've got the element of surprise. _ _ If I'm quick I can kill these _Det kazuats _and then finish off Fist._

Before the thought could complete itself she had already firmly slapped the man's offending appendage away. "Who are you? Where's the Shadow Broker? Where's Fist?"

"Relax, baby. Everything is going to be fine. Just give me the data."

"No way, the deal's off," she replied, hands subtly sliding across her hips and behind her back.

The Turian held his hands up and began slowly walking backwards. Acting on instinct alone she tossed a tech mine at the two malingering Salarians and dove to her right and behind some fortuitously placed cover. Before she landed, she heard the tech mine go off. As she impacted the ground she heard a second, much louder explosion. _A secondary blast? From behind? Some shrapnel from my mine might have hit something._

She started to he feet and tried to get her bearings, shotgun angling on the Salarians who were beginning to get up. As Tali began to draw a bead on the struggling aliens, she was interrupted by a guttural barking, the loudest she had ever heard. Much louder than she thought any living creature could produce. So loud in fact that, despite her helmet's insulation, she couldn't hear her suits speakers turning the violent noise into intelligible speech. _Great, attack animals from behind. I am so dead. Shoot the Salarians first, then the Turian. While doing that, I can turn at the last possible moment and shoot the animals. Their approach is loud enough... I'll know when it's time._

With a start, she realized that the Salarians she was about to pull the trigger on were no longer standing. Something happened to them. _What the? No time to think. Where's the Turian? Keelah, the Animals!_

She whipped around knowing full well it was probably too late. The animals were going to tear her to shreds, she knew from the sounds of one right behind her. Maybe she'd take a few with her. _Too close, much too close. I'm too late. Die you-_

Before Tali could get all the way around, before she could bring her weapon up, before she could even get a good look at the beasts, she felt its paw slam into her shoulder. She fell to the ground, hard. A loud blast echoed above her, a grenade passing through the space her head once occupied. The fall had knocked the wind out of her and she felt the creature land beside her with a metallic crunch. Her shotgun went skidding meters away from her. Her arms, pinned beneath her by the force of the creature's paw, made her determine that she'd be dead before she could ever reach her knife. _This is it. I hope it goes for my throat first. I hope the pain doesn't last long. I don't want to be alive when they start to eat me._

"Stay down! Just stay down!" she heard it say as she felt a weight release from her back. No, not it, _him_, an alien male of some sort_. It wants me to stay down. Not likely. I'm not gonna survive this just so I can be interrogated or worse- then killed- by a bunch of low-life mercenaries._

Tali was on her feet in an instant, scooping up her shotgun as she ran away from the alien. The naturally fast Quarian got another ten meters before she realized they had her completely surrounded, every weapon trained on her midsection. With no place else to go, she turned to face the aliens whom she now realized were Humans. Yes, she had seen quite a few of them on the citadel, had heard Kal tell her stories about them, and learned all about the First Contact War. They were tough fighters indeed, and this group appeared to be especially tough by Human standards. She realized she was not going to last very long in their presence once they found the OSD on her._ I should have hid the thing in one of these damned crates. It'll be quick at least. I can probably take the big red-sleeved one with me._

Tali turned to the one she assumed to be the leader, weapon leveled on him. Her hands shook violently. These weren't thugs; the Turian and Salarians met their Ancestors before their bodies had even hit the ground. No doubt Fist and all his men were dead already. The Human quickly brought his hands up to a position of surrender. _I'll try talking, buy myself some time._

"Wh-Who are you? What do you want from me?" The shaking grew worse. Tali took an involuntary half step back.

"Tali'Zora nar Rayya?" it said.

"Who wants to know? Answer me!" Another half step combined with a glance at the wall behind her.

He slowly spoke to her, but what he had to say was the last thing she was expecting, "May the ancestors direct my steps to tranquility and serenity... And?"

Tali was truly dumbfounded for the first time in her life. In the height of her adrenaline, absolute terror, and certainty of death, this alien held out a shining beacon of hope. She dropped her shotgun from her hands without thinking. _That's, that's my passphrase! Half my passphrase! He knows me. They told me to _always_ trust the passprase. It means safety, no sign of duress. I think they're actually here to help. But why only half? Oh._

Understanding now that he expected her to supply the other half, she finished, "And deliver me from every enemy, ambush, or hurt, until I arrive at my journey's end."

Upon hearing this, the alien signaled his comrades, whom Tali now realized also included a Krogan and a Turian, telling them to lower their weapons. He walked calmly in her direction. "This _is_ her, people. Comm the _Normandy_, tell them we have the package and are beginning exfiltration now." He took out his pocket watch and examined it, clearly broken from the fall he took rescuing her from the Turian's grenade launcher. "Huh. Also tell the _Normandy _that it only took us twenty-six minutes from the time we left the ship until we made contact with the target. That's a team record!"

He held out his hand and addressed her, "Miss Tali'Zora nar Rayya, my name is John Shepard and I'm really glad to meet you."

...

_August 7th, 2183, 03:07:22 _

_(Two months, twelve days after the destruction of the _Normandy_)_

Tali contemplated the broken watch in her hand, the one she stared at every night to help her get lost in the warmth of memory. _I don't get it. Why is __3:14__ so familiar? Could he _really _have meant something by it? Keelah... Weeks spent searching and I still can't find any significance. It's not coordinates, nothing from any kinds of texts, not dock numbers, deposit boxes, nor even extranet routing addresses, and not one _fre'eg_ing thing makes sense... Ugh, I guess I'll just fix it tomorrow then. _

**Alright review this thing.  
**


	5. Time Is On My Side, Yes It Is

**Bioware owns the characters and everything else you can find in the Mass Effect Wiki. Calinstel owns 99.5% of the ideas behind the Quarians that I'm using. The rest is mine. **

Chapter 5: Time Is On My Side, Yes It Is**  
**

_December 18th, 2183, 19:36:51_

_(Six months, twenty-three days after the destruction of the _Normandy_) _

Tali sat alone in her room, finally resolved to fixing John's, well _her,_ antique watch. She had tried many times and failed to bring herself to fix the thing, having convinced herself that John had left her a message hidden in its hands. She was unwilling to erase any part of him that she could still cling to, whether there was really anything there or not.

She procrastinated before the task ahead by taking in her surroundings, still alien to her after many months. The room itself was almost barren, save for a holo terminal, a chair, a small desk covered by three data pads, and neatly wound bedroll in the corner. She had little in the way of either borrowed or personal possessions, the former only being brought in by Kal after weeks of insistence by her aunt.

Opposite the bedroll was a new toolbox filled with all the tools from all the races whose ship's a quarian engineer might work on. The only tools she truly considered hers were for the human vessels, tools gifted to her by either Adams or by John himself. The monstrous box itself was a personal gift from the _Neema_'s captain, both it and her current respectable position being rewards for the pilgrimage gift that John had provided for her. At only seventy years young, the box easily had a century or two of useful service left in it.

Across the wall from where the bedroll and the box lay was the entrance to her room, now covered in the layers of extra-thick cloth that her aunt had mandated. From the exterior of her room they only revealed the colors of an engineer and the pattern of clan Zorah, but from the inside one could only see the institutional-black of industrial sound proofing. The same black insulating cloth that Shala had requested Tali line her walls with. Her neighbors and shipmates had little desire or ability to sleep so near to a young woman who wailed and cried into the early hours of the morning every single night. They would have confronted her themselves, but not wanting to upset her further, Tali's neighbors had instead opted to inform her surrogate aunt-turned-mother of the situation. Tali had dutifully complied, understanding their motives and not wanting to be a bother to anyone.

Tali would have just as soon lived in the empty, unadorned box, completely exposed before the ship's inhabitants without so much as an entrance-covering for privacy or a blanket for warmth. _I don't deserve all this,_ _absolutely not_, she thought as she looked around her, _not after what I did to him. Not after just letting him die like that. I had him in my _Fre'eg_ing hands! I let him pull away from me to save that worthless thing. If I held a little tighter, if I only yanked him into the pod and locked the door..._

She slammed her clinched fist as hard as she possibly could into the same spot on the wall she always used, the same hand she always used. It was the hand whose grasp had failed when it had a hold of _Him_, the hand that cost him his life. Opening and closing the throbbing appendage to maximize her suffering, she soaked in all the relief the pain could provide. She savored the slight cracks and pops it made, a clear indication that she had succeeded in re-breaking the stress fractures that had been opened and reset many times before. She gritted her teeth and shut her eyes against tears of hurt and guilt. _Ah, I need this... I- I am just a machine... Pain is the oil for my gears._

Tali held the watch with renewed confidence, her resolve steeled by the agony that was a fraction of what she felt she deserved. She had briefly entertained the idea of leaving the heirloom on his grave, or perhaps burying at the base of his grave marker, but Hannah's words in the attorney's office haunted her. He meant for this to go to her, wanted her to fix it. Hidden message or no, she would honor her beloved commander's request and then maybe return it to him if she ever made her way back to the human homeworld.

She pulled up her omni-tool to look up the schematics she drew for the watch after the first time she fixed it. The upper right corner of the glowing orange screen caught her attention. Next to the Khelish word for 'draft' there was the numeral one in parenthesis. _Keelah, I should finish writing that apology letter. Hannah may be an unthinking bosh'tet, but she didn't deserve to be treated that way. She was only trying to make me feel better... By suggesting... I- I move-_

Tali couldn't bring herself to even finish the thought. She deleted the draft. Turning her attention back to the watch for a moment, she set it aside and started looking through her files for some background music while she worked. She wasn't in the mood for human pop; it hadn't suited her mood in months. Quarian music was too bland for her now. She found one or two Asari songs that were loud and grinding enough to meet her needs, but all they ever sang about was love and relationships and that was something she didn't want to get into at the moment. About to turn off her translator and play the latest single from an Asari group calling themselves 'The Blue Harpies,' she instead decided to play her old standby.

Her suit, like almost all Quarian suits, could record every sound and sight she experienced in her day to day life in high definition three dimensional video. Her's was set to record by default and would purge any data older than a week. Unless she saved it. Which she did to every record of John, from the smallest private conversation to the most intense firefight. From his eloquent pre-battle speeches to his simplest waves of greeting. It was probably the most complete record of the savior of the citadel in existence. Many historians would pay a fortune for such a thing, but she would never, ever, give them the pleasure. He was hers, all hers and only hers, and that's the way it would stay. The composite record started in the midst of her meeting with Fist and ended with the worst day she ever had or would have.

Tali linked her omni-tool to the holo in the corner of her room and pressed play for the sixtieth time since she returned to the fleet.

She gathered her tools, placing them neatly on the floor in front of her, and knelt to begin her work. She pried off the back of the watch, and began to examine it closely. The first thing she noticed when she took a very close look at it was that one gear was out of alignment. Well out of alignment. She would have to figure out where the thing went once she took apart and cleaned the watch. Examining the schematic, her confusion only grew. _Did I miss something? That ring gear doesn't belong there. Or is that an outer bearing race? Keelah, what is that?_

Setting aside each piece of the watch's internals, She placed them in a careful layout on a soft cloth as she delicately extracted them. In a few moments she arrived at the offending component. Pulling it up closely to her visor, she tried to divine its purpose. It was perfectly round band, except for an obvious and comparatively large bulge on the outer perimeter. It was metallic but smooth, perhaps three millimeters thick. Without teeth, she ruled out the possibility of it being a gear, but it might be a bearing race or perhaps a compression band of some kind. The bulge made her think it might be something optical; it appeared to be clear and crystalline, the kind of thing used in laser encoding. This perplexed her further because, while far from certain, she was relatively confident that humans had no lasers when this device was constructed.

As she held the object to her eye, her attention turned to vid playing opposite her work area. She let out a sigh as it got to the part where she first met John. The vid didn't show much, just the floor of the alley rapidly advancing on the camera, that is to say, her face. Peering through the center of the band, something in the corner of the vid caught her eye. _What the? There's no possible way._

She rewound the video by a few seconds and played it again at a slower frame rate. Her vision narrowed on the time stamp smoldering in the corner. She was right. _He meant to break his watch!_ _He _did_ leave something for me! This band, it has to be this band._

She closed the vid and began searching the extranet on her omni-tool. She thought it was some kind of jewelry for sure. One could give spare parts as gifts, particularly to an engineer, but if humans were anything like the other races then they would probably exchange personal ornaments. Quarians used to do that as well, before the war. John may have taken the practical quarian approach, but she doubted it, mostly because it wasn't a piece of machinery she recognized. The crystal itself had to be some kind of precious stone, so she'd start there.

She scanned the crystal and determined it was carbon. Entering the terms 'carbon' and 'crystal' she discovered the human word for diamond. Next, Tali searched for what she knew about the trinket, typing 'diamond' and 'band.' Images of similar bands played across the screen, each captioned with her search terms, save for an added word in between her two. They were all pictures of diamond _engagement_ bands. _Engagement? What sort of activity was John engaged in?_

She explored further. After the first link, he jaw dropped. The tears that had been collecting in her eyes since her discovery of John's hidden message came in full force. _It couldn't be true, could it?_

The second, third, and fourth link all confirmed the same thing. The band was actually a very special piece of jewelry called an engagement ring, something human males used to signal human females of their willingness to become lifemates. She had not recognized it for what it was because quarians simply did not wear any such ornamentations on their fingers, the suits got in the way and it was a waste besides. Anything so visible as jewelry would make the wearer an instant pariah in the fleet. But human females proudly wore them, and their meaning was unquestionable. John had intended to bond with her. _Why, John, why? Why show this to me now? Why wait until you're dead to give this to me, you coward? I would have said yes before the words could have even left your mouth! I would have dragged you in front of Jane and demanded our bond be logged in the _Normandy_ if I thought for a second that you were even considering it! Coward! You Ancestors damned _bosh'tet _coward!_

Her eyes were swollen shut with anguish, tears streamed from her face as her suit struggled to keep the moisture at bay. Her throat closed in and her chest heaved with every breath as they left her mouth in keening wails and moans. Her fists shook, the ring and its stone forcing its way into her suit hard enough to cause a resurgence of pain, spiking through her scarred bones. With a sudden violence, she cleared the floor in front of her using a wide backhand. The watch, its delicate parts, and her tools flew against the back wall and scattered to the floor with soft chiming noises. She bent double, mask touching the ground, and pounded the metal floor with as much fury as her tormented fists could muster. In the back of her mind she wondered if the tears now pooling in the front of her mask would drown her. She didn't care either way.

Slowly her sobs abated, coming at irregular intervals instead of every pained breath. Sitting upright, allowing her mask to drain the salty fluid from her helmet, she looked to the remnants of John's watch. Her weeping renewed as she shook her head and stared. _John, I'm so, so sorry. How could I do this? How could I think such bile and filth about such a perfect being? I never meant it, not even for a second. You know none of it is true, don't you? Please forgive me, and yes. Yes, I will have you as my lifemate._

Tali opened her hand and looked at the ring as it slowly shifted in her palm from where it had imbedded itself. Admiring it, she supposed it was akin to a _Pal'tec vis surden_ in that it was a given from males to females and worn as a symbol. She remembered that humans also had another ceremonial band that they used for this sort of thing, one that was given only after the bonding, one that both the male and the female wore. She had seen some of the crew with the simple decoration. _Maybe I'll make one of those too and wear it under my suit. But what about this one?_

While cleaning up the mess she made of John's pocket watch, she deliberated. She placed all the pieces she found in a cloth bag and reached a conclusion. She would fashion a _wedding ring_ from John's decimated heirloom and wear it under her glove as a human bondmate might. The _engagement ring_ she would wear in the _Pal'tec vis surden_ pocket inside her suit and just above her heart.

...

_December 26th, 2183, 18:01:17_

_(Seven months after the destruction of the _Normandy_) _

Closing her omni-tool at the end of her shift, Tali had a morbid giddiness about her. After reserving a clean room roughly a week ago, she would finally have the opportunity to place her engagement ring and the wedding ring she fashioned where they belonged. She briefly patted the temporary pocket she kept them safe in and set about on her way.

On the route to the room she ran into one of her fellow engineers, Jar'Surren. He was a nice enough fellow, but he, like many others, had only one thing on his mind concerning her and she wasn't anywhere near interested. Tali kept her head down and tried to scoot past him as quickly as possible.

"Tali!" Jar called to her as she passed right by him.

"Oh, Jar! Didn't see you there," she lied over her shoulder, now afraid of being drawn into a protracted conversation in her moment of truth.

"It's okay, I just wanted to say hi. So, where ya headed?" he stammered.

"Um, I have a reservation at a clean room, I've got to be going. Don't want to be late," as she turned to leave she realized her mistake.

"Clean room, eh? Uh, do you need any help?" Tali began walking away, but he refused to get the hint, "I could help!"

"No, no thank you! See you tomorrow!" she shouted behind her as she continued to her destination. _Ugh, idiot boys, always looking for a charity case. No kind of crazy is _too_ crazy for some people I guess._

Once inside the room, she wasted no time in stripping down to her underwear after the sterilization cycle had run its course. From her suit, now rumpled on the floor at her feet, she removed her wedding ring and engagement ring. The former she immediately slipped onto the third finger of her left hand. She stepped out of her suit and picked up the heavy garment, sliding and tossing it between her six fingers until she located the five centimeter wide pocket on the interior of her suit. Taking one last look at the ring, she prepared to insert it in its final resting place.

Right before inserting it, she noticed something. Writing lined the interior, human writing. _Keelah, what is this?_

Thinking quickly and not wanting to waste any more of her time in the clean room, she pulled her omni-tool off her suit sleeve and took several quick pictures of the inside of the ring. After that, she slipped the ring into its new home and proceeded to putting on her suit. The jewel in the ring was awkward in its pocket, being much wider than what was supposed to be there. It sat uncomfortably; she new it would chafe over time. That was alright with her, the pain it provided would grant her a constant penance.

As she stepped out of the room she saw an unexpected sight. Naru'Surren, Jar's sister, waited for her outside the airlock.

"Tali! Jar said you would be here," was the first thing out of her mouth.

"Yes, and?" Tali replied.

"Well, as I thought, you're alone. Looking for some personal touchy-time? Nerve Stim Pro not doing it for you?" her sneer evident in her voice.

"What? You came here to berate me? What do you want?"

"I want to know why you keep refusing my brother. He's already down the path with you. Easily well into _Pemla'tiyl_ already."

"I'm sorry for him. He should probably stop wasting time with me. It won't do any good for him."

"And why not?" Naru was flustered at this point, "I've heard the rumors. Your old commander died and you can't bond with a-"

Naru never got to finish the sentence. Tali's broken fist slammed into girl's stomach with an audible thump. Doubled over from the impact and struggling for breath, it was all Naru could do to flail her arms in defense. Tali, enraged further from the added pain caused to her hand by the blow, kneed the poor girl in her side, knocking her to the floor. Seeing her opponent on the ground, Tali immediately jumped on her, going to her knees and straddling her as she got ready to rain blows until the object of her hatred stopped moving.

As she reared back to strike, someone caught her arm. Another person grabbed her shoulders and together the two brought her to her feet. She kicked, struggled, and hissed with everything she had against those who came to the aide of the fallen Naru.

Naru took a brief minute to collect her senses, shaking her head and gathering her thoughts. She eventually struggled to her feet, approaching the bereaving woman with a pointing finger. "What the _Fre'eg_ do you think you're doing? I'm gonna press charges-" A booted foot swiped mere inches from the girl's face, "Going _Felz'elt_ over a filthy human-"

Tali almost broke free at this, her growl very audible, a third person needing to be called in to help restrain her.

"Go call the constabulary... And the medics," One of the passerby currently restraining her called to another observing from the sidelines, "this girl is going to need some serious help."

...

_March 4th, 2183, 21:31:45_

"So, I guess this is it, Nee?"

"Yeah, I guess it is. No turning back now. We do this, then a nice long vacation," John considered his drink for a moment, "You decide on what you're leaving him? Garrus, I mean."_  
_

"I know who you meant. And yeah, I did," Jane leaned back in her chair and looked down, then to the ceiling, then to the far wall across her bed, averting her eyes from her brother for a few seconds before continuing. "The old family bible. I left him that."

John chuckled at both her pensiveness and her decision. "Really? You expect your Turian to find Jesus or something?"

"Fuck off. I expect him- I _want_ him to not make the same mistakes I did. I don't want him going down that path. You know how I feel about the way I am," She leaned on her elbows, knuckles white as she spoke, "I'm having a hard enough time climbing out of it, despite everyone around me helping out. If I die then the last thing I want is for him to lose his shit and become a monster with nowhere to turn."

John only nodded at this.

"So what about you? I've seen you with Tali. Got anything for her?" A broad smile split across Jane's face.

"Well," John cleared his throat, "Yeah."

Jane tilted her head to the side, crimson hair falling away from her face. She knew Nee like no one else did or could. Something was not quite right. "Go on."

John debated with himself for a moment, but decided that he might as well tell her. "So I left her my antique watch," again he cleared his throat, but louder this time, "and, uh, Grandma's ring."

"You What? No fucking way!" Jane's mouth agape, she could only stare at her brother, "You didn't. Stop fucking with me."

"I did."

"You stupid shit. Do you mean it? I mean do you _really think _you're in love with her? Have you even fucked her yet? _Can_ you even fuck her?"

John considered for a moment with how best to respond. "Yes. Likely. No. Yes."

"You do realize," Jane continued undeterred in the slightest, "that she could just take that thing and sell it as soon as she gets it. That ring will be out of the family forever. Alternating generations of Shepard men have been using that thing to propose forever, and you'll end it over some Soldier groupie."

"If I die, then there won't be any more Shepard men."

"Good point, except we'll see what Garrus has to say about that." She shook a finger at her twin, "You know, if I'm still alive and you're not, I think I'll take it for him."

"Jane..." the woman raised her hands in protest and John continued "Well, I think I've devised a way to only give it to her if she cares enough to go searching for it."

"Cryptic, but whatever," She examined her manicure, "I had no idea you were so close to her. I don't want you to get hurt, Nee. You know how girls are at that age. They get some big crush on the new boy in their lives and fuck him until he's not new anymore and then someone else come along. She's infatuated with the _idea_ of you, her hero-commander. She doesn't know the real you enough to judge whether she wants to be with you forever."

"You don't think I know that's a possibility?"

Jane continued, completely ignoring her brother, "Ashley now... She's too honorable for games. Hell, even Liara would be okay. Even if you were just a fling to her, it would still last a hundred years..."

"Listen," John gestured to emphasize his words, "I know all this. And I'm far from certain about Tali. But something _is_ different about her, trust me, I just can't put it all into words." Jane rolled her eyes, "As for the ring, well if that ring makes my number one fangirl happy for a little while before she moves on, then so be it, the galaxy's a better place for it."

"And if you don't die?"

"Then I'll save the ring for later. I'll have all the time in the world to figure out if she's the one."

**I hope that you enjoyed this! Please review.  
**


	6. Adapt and Overcome

**Bioware owns the characters and everything else you can find in the Mass Effect Wiki. Calinstel owns 99.5% of the ideas behind the Quarians that I'm using. The rest is mine. **

Chapter 6: Adapt and Overcome

_December 27th, 2183, 09:35:22_

"What happened? Where is she, Han?" demanded an almost frantic Shala'Raan.

Han'Gerrel heard her approach well before the woman actually said anything. Placing down the data pad he had been reading at his desk, he turned in his chair and rose to greet her. He tossed aside the entrance-covering to his spacious five-by-five meter office and looked down the hallway in the direction of Shala's pounding footsteps.

Seeing her at almost a jog, Han hastened to reassure her, "Relax Shala, as I said, she's perfectly fine. She's with a doctor at the moment." When she came within reach, his hands went to her shoulders, "She's being given an initial evaluation and we'll both be able to see her shortly."

Shala brought herself closer to him, accepting an embrace from the man. "Alright, alright," she pulled away and looked him the eyes, her six fingers beginning to play with each other, "Just tell me what happened to my baby. What did you mean 'There's been an incident'?"

Han tilted a head in understanding. He had never seen Shala this worried about anything in years, and with good reason. "Well, she attacked someone just outside one of our clean rooms." Shala placed a hand over visor at this, "But don't worry, she didn't cause any serious damage, just a broken rib and some bruising. Keeping it quiet has been another matter."

"Yes, I can imagine," Shala nodded in agreement, "I take it that your involvement is a result of that?"

"Indeed. The girl she attacked sought summary judgment from the captain, requesting the highest possible sentence," Shala gave an involuntary shudder as he said this, "but the captain was leaning toward mandatory ship-service before he elected to call me in."

"I see," her fingers stilled at this, she continued, "Yes, the savior of the citadel, bearer of the greatest gift the fleet has had in years, and daughter of two- well one- of the admiralty board... It wouldn't look good if this got out."

"Exactly."

"So, why did she do it? Was she attacked first?"

"Well, no, not physically anyway." Han rubbed his chin, clearly not knowing how best to proceed.

"What are getting at? Spit it out already," Shala said with a posture that screamed impatience.

"Well, bear with me. I'll try to explain." Han placed an arm around Shala's back and guided her into his office. He took a deep breath and began, "As you know, Tali has been though a lot..."

"Yes, yes, I know." She brought her voice to a whisper as she leaned in, "This is _not_ about her human commander, is it?"

Han took a seat and gestured for her to do the same. She refused with a quick shake of her head. Han remained silent and began unconsciously reaching for the data pad he had earlier abandoned.

"Han, you answer me now. My baby did _not_... Did she?"

"Yes, Shala, I'm afraid she's further along than we thought. At least _Hecs'tiyl_, maybe, maybe further. We'll know more when we speak to the doctor."

"That filthy primate, I'd kill the _kazuat_ if he weren't already dead. Taking advantage of my girl to see what's under the suit. I knew these humans would be _that kind _of trouble as soon as I heard of them. Might as well have handed out pamphlets at the start of everyone's pilgrimage, 'Asari 2.0: Now Available for Men _and_ Women.'"

Han chuckled at the thought.

Shala persisted, "What I don't understand is why. This sort of thing happens all the time. We go out on pilgrimage and sometimes we meet someone. Some of us even-" Shala swallowed hard to keep the contents of the morning's nutrient tube down, "-_join_ with aliens. But no one else ever gets this involved, digs themselves this deep. The nightly crying and depression is one thing, but this? We can't even bond with aliens! It's not physically possible!"

"Maybe it is with humans. They _are _so much like us."

"Don't be stupid!" Shala' jaw was set, her fingers flexing into fists and back again. With a sigh, she turned away from her fellow admiral.

"Fine, you're right. There are other reasons this could have happened." He got up and began to pace, "They went through a lot together. Facing the reality of death so frequently, her safety depending on this man... We tend not to think about the immanent danger all around us here, but life isn't cheap. We don't look down the barrel of a gun every day. Tali didn't have that luxury."

"I think I'm beginning to understand now," Shala was warming up to this idea, "A constant physiological trauma, perhaps a human who learned a little too much about us... Knows how to send all the right signals. At least enough to get what he wanted." Something like this was a medical situation, something that could be solved with proper treatment and counseling. Tali was clearly a victim of circumstance and bad intentions. Shala liked that idea a lot better that the notion that her daughter could be dumb enough to fall this hard for an alien all of her own accord.

"That might not have been Commander Shepard's desire, you know," Han stopped pacing as he made his way in front of her, turning to face her, "A commander being overprotective with a young, inexperienced woman, hardly out of adolescence, is not that unusual, especially when it's Tali."

"Ugh. It doesn't matter now," Shala took on a dejected stance, her arms falling to her sides. She shrugged then spoke, a sigh audible in her voice, "He broke my baby and left me to clean up the pieces. It will be a long road, but with time and counseling, she'll heal." Shala said the words, but inside she wasn't so sure.

...

_December 27th, 2183, 10:52:51_

The two had settled back for a long wait in Han's office, eventually moving their discussion to lighter matters, and finally onto the status of the fleet. They had spoken on where it had been and where it was going, the challenges they were likely to face, and how to overcome them. While both quarians were admirals on the board, it did not necessarily mean that they had access to equal information.

"Tell me Han, has there really been an increase in Marines' training missions over the past year? Are we planning something?" Han would know something of course, and as the Admiral of the heavy fleet, he'd probably have been the one to authorize any increase in activity.

"I hadn't heard anything," Han replied simply.

"Nothing? You hadn't heard the scuttlebutt at least?"

"Nothing. It's news to me if my marines are doing more training."

Rumors spread across the fleet like the wildfires one could see only in vids. For Han to not hear of them was impossible. She would let it lie for the time being. If Han wasn't talking, then pressing him for answers would get her precisely nowhere.

"On a completely unrelated note," Han said as he reached for a tube of tea, "Tali has decided to take her duty to the Fleet in another direction."

"Oh?" Shala raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. She suggested it as a way to clear her head. Get her away from the gossip and controversy of the ship. She's decided that military life agrees with her," He attached the tube and took some sips while he let Shala process the new information.

Shala leaned a little closer, "Go on."

"She wants to go through officer candidate school and then join the Farseekers." Han paused again, calmly bracing for Shala's tongue lashing, something he would politely ignore.

Shala's reply was calm, "That's quite noble of her. I think it _will_ help clear her head. She's already the best of the best. It should be easy for her." Farseeker school, like any other race's special operations training, was extremely difficult. The quarians' Migrant Fleet Marine version, however, had some challenges associated with it that were unique. Without a garden world to the quarians' name, Farseekers had to conduct all their training on worlds that were already inhabited to various degrees. This meant that even the simplest planet-side exercises ranged from very dangerous to downright suicidal. Nothing Tali would lose any sleep over.

"I, um, am glad you agree," Han was pleasantly surprised, if a little befuddled, "I've already given her my letter of recommendation. Before her request I was going to suggest a transfer as a way to help deal with her issues; so this seems perfect. And it seems you niece _does_ have a natural talent for violence."

"Quite." came the monotone reply, "You know Han, Kal'Reeger is a Marine Farseeker, yes?"

"He's one of our best."

"That could be... Very good for her," Shala was deep in thought.

"Hello?" A feminine voice called from just beyond the office entrance covering.

Rising to his feet, Han pulled the cloth aside, "Shala, this is Doctor Elan'Shiya," he introduced the young doctor.

Shala barely noticed her. She was entirely focused on the subdued young lady behind her. Tali walked in, shame radiating from her body language. Her head was down, shoulders slumped, and fingers engaged in a rapid dance at her midsection. Already closing the distance, Shala reached to hug the girl. "Tali! How are you my darling child?"

"Fine, Auntie, fine," Tali returned the warm embrace. "Doctor Elan is working with me now. Helping me to... Adapt. We'll have regular appointments for some time."

"I'm glad, yes, very glad," Shala turned to the red-brown suited therapist while Tali greeted Han, "And I'm so grateful to you, doctor."

"I'm glad help. Post traumatic stress is my specialty. The... _loss_ your niece suffered can qualify as such. It might no be the typical PTSD I'm used to treating- she seems quite well adapted to the mental rigors of combat- but my therapy will help."

"I thought as much. You approve of her decision to join the marines?"

"Yes. The discipline, the activity, the goal oriented nature of it, all these things will be better for her than the monotony of fleet life and the time it leaves to ponder one's losses."

"Monotony of the Fleet. That sounds just like her father. I have faith in the Ancestors that Tali will not turn out like that," Shala excused herself from Elan and made her way to Tali and Han.

"Tali darling," she took her niece's hand, "I don't have a lot of time on this ship and I'd love to talk with you for a bit. Come, walk with me."

"Of course, Auntie, if you insist. I don't want to keep you."

"Excellent. Han, always a pleasure. Elan, it was wonderful to meet you, and thank you again." With that, Shala and Tali left to find privacy in the anonymity of the throngs of quarians aboard the Neema.

Thinking that perhaps talking about one's problems was always a fine way to dispense with them, Shala decided to give it a try. It helped, of course, that she was genuinely curious about the alien that had stolen her daughter's heart. "So, Tali, tell me about him. Tall me about your commander."

The young woman's pace slowed and she appeared to be examining her feet. Gradually, she brought her gaze to meet her aunt's and then nodded.

"Well, my first chance to really talk with him was right after he became a Spectre..."

...

_January 18th, 2183, 18:03:24_

Tali wasn't sure what to think after this latest revelation. Not only were two of the humans who rescued her made Spectres, but the female, whom she had assumed was second in command, had just been made the captain of their vessel. It was quite a coup for someone so young. She felt bad for the old captain, a human named Anderson, but he had implied that he would be moving on to bigger things.

She stared out the dock's observation port at the sleek human ship. She's never seen anything like it, anything so advanced. If it was half as fast as it looked, it would also be the quickest ship she had ever laid eyes on.

Tali didn't really know why she followed the two humans, krogan, and turian to the dock. Mostly it was because she didn't have any place to be, any direction for her pilgrimage to take her at the moment. Not only that, but the human that introduced himself as John'Shepard had saved her life. She might have been able to handle those thugs without the human raiders, but she probably couldn't handle a grenade to the face. She felt like she still owed him more than the shotgun she'd pointed at his chest. Tali decided to hang around at least until he gave her an address to mail a repayment of his 'gift of recourses' to, or until he dismissed her from his presence. _My life is a _very_ important resource. I hope I can earn enough._

The Quarian heard heavy footsteps behind her. _Hmm..._ _Long stride; this person is tall, probably between one point eight and two meters. The clanking indicates armor. Vibrations in the hull mean a lot of weight, not _krogan_ heavy, but around a hundred fifteen kilos with gear. Probably male, then. Based on the speed of the approach, I'd say he's got confidence._

"Hello John'Shepard, I want to thank you again for saving me." She spoke without diverting her gaze from the spacecraft, or otherwise moving a single muscle.

"How did you know it was me? And I want to thank _you_ again for that data." came the reply.

"Lucky guess I suppose. I figured you'd come to see me before you left," she didn't figure anything of the sort, but she had hoped it. Regardless, she was very glad he was here now. "And think nothing of the data, I got what I wanted out of it and I'm even happier that it's been put to good use."

"You've impressed me. And call me John. There's something I want to talk to you about before we leave."

Now this was unexpected. She was anticipating a goodbye and a handshake, as the humans did, whereupon she'd arrange a way to repay him. She hoped his demands weren't too exorbitant. She'd give him what she could; he could deal with it if it wasn't enough. But the way he spoke in such a serious tone seemed to indicate that he had something important in mind. He was proposing some kind of mission, perhaps? _Okay, I'll take the bait from this trap._

"Go on."

"I want to offer you a job. You've proven yourself capable in combat, and I understand you're an excellent engineer. If the military life is something you feel you're ready for, our team needs a good combat engineer."

"I, uh, I don't know what to say." Tali was staggered with his words. A million things were going through her mind at once. She needed to 'Go forth and do great things' as her father had said, and traveling with two Spectres to stop the geth and a third Spectre was certainly great. It could net her that pilgrimage gift she needed. It would probably be dangerous, but what did she care about that? She'd already fought geth, burned a mercenary alive, blew up two more, and been shot through the chest. Her hand involuntarily rubbed that scar.

"I know what you're thinking, and yes it will be dangerous," John had seen her hand approach a section of her tattered, mismatched suit that appeared a little more recently tattered and mismatched than the rest of it. "We lost our combat engineer on Eden Prime, along with two, well three other personnel. We could really use you in the field, but if you're worried about that we can still use your assistance in the engine room as a private contractor."

"Oh, Keelah, I don't mind the danger." Everyone always took her as some helpless little girl, _even after_ they see her in action. She chuckled at the thought. "I will absolutely go with you. I'd love to assist with the ship and be your combat engineer. I just wasn't expecting such a fantastic opportunity. I guess I wasn't ready to hear someone being so generous. People usually aren't so nice... Or so trusting around us."

"What? Why is that?" John was genuinely curious now.

"I'll tell you some other time, if you don't mind."

"Not at all. So, this will be a long trip, maybe a few months. When we get aboard, I'll give you the tour and draw up some employment papers for you to look at and sign." Tali raised and eyebrow and John continued, "The pay is fair, based on your abilities I think we can get you the same rate as a service chief-"

"What?" Tali interjected.

"You don't think that's enough? I might be able to get you a higher rate for your time in the engine room, but-"

"No, no. I mean... I wasn't expecting to get paid. Food, boarding, the chance to get a pilgrimage gift, that's enough... You save my life, _and_ give me a well paid job?"

"Yeah..." John wondered why this girl was having such trouble with an obvious concept. She really must have had it rough. "Fair pay for fair work. You're not a slave, no argument."

"Understood commander-"

"John."

"John. You humans really are nice," her voice taking on an overly suggestive tone. _What the _fre'eg _was that? Where did that come from? _

"Thank you. It's just the way we are. Most of us," came the reply. It appeared to Tali that the commander hadn't noticed anything in her voice, but she broke eye contact and didn't look back. Her fingers intertwined and moved about, just above her waist.

Tali made a note to recommend to the Fleet that future pilgrimages seriously consider taking place in human space, aboard their ships or on their colonies. She supposed that since this species was so new to the galactic scene, they hadn't had time enough for the other species to turn them into racists. Not to mention that when they were first encountered, they were almost considered a rouge race, counted with the likes of the batarians, the vorcha, the krogan, and of course the quarians. Humans had been feared as much, if not more, than the former three. This probably meant that they viewed all other races about equally at this point, with a general ambivalence.

Since the council most likely thought humans were too powerful to either ignore _or_ kill off, and because the species seemed to resolve matters with at least as much discussion as hostility, their collaboration was bought with galactic recognition. It would not be long then before they shared the same views on the quarians as the rest of the galaxy. _Oh well. At least I can do my best to keep these particular humans from turning racist. Maybe with even more quarian exposure, the fleet can finally earn itself an ally._

John led Tali aboard the ship and began the tour. As he took her to the various points of interest, she noticed something. Or rather, the lack of something. He wasn't touching her. The lack of physical contact was expected behavior amongst quarians one just met, but aliens tended to be of a different mind. She couldn't help it that she came off to others as a little naive, in need of some 'guidance,' but she still found the way others treated her to be too patronizing. That he wasn't trying to lead her around with his hand on her shoulder, or Ancestors forbid, in the small of her back, spoke volumes of the amount of respect he had for her.

As the two rounded the corner to engineering, she stopped dead in her tracks.

"What is it?" John questioned.

"It's just so... Big," came the quarian's reply.

He followed her gaze. "The drive core. Yes, it's called the Tantalus. Brand new prototype design. I figured you'd like it," he couldn't keep the smirk off his face.

"It's twice the size of anything I've seen in a vessel with these dimensions."

Another voice interjected, "That's right. This is the fastest ship in the fleet. Engineer Adams, at your service, ma'am." He extended his hand.

She shook it, as was the human custom of greeting, "Ma'am? I'm not that important. Call me Tali, Mr. Adams"

"Of course, and just Adams is fine."

"Tali," John continued after the introduction, "You'll be working under Adams when you're not on a ground mission or preparing for one."

"On this core? John, that's a dream come true! I... Really? Are you sure it's alright? I mean this is centuries ahead of anything in the Fleet, or anywhere else for that matter."

"Of course, Tali." He resisted the urge to reassure her with a gentle pat on the shoulder, "This ship may be classified, but you have a need to know. And your employment papers include a confidentiality agreement. And besides, I trust you."

His words warmed her heart. She would not be that ready to trust anyone, contract or no. But he must have been a far better judge of character than her because she would never, ever, betray this man's trust. She stepped away to assess the drive and its capabilities.

The first thing she noticed was that the core _could_ use some tweaking. This wouldn't be a problem and, once she settled in, she'd seek Adams' approval. She learned enough about mass effect field physics and particle physics in her ten minute examination of the ship's systems to fill two or three graduate level courses on the subjects. The fact that she could assimilate all that and then recommend improvements didn't actually surprise her all that much. She may come off as exceptionally modest about her abilities, but deep down, she wasn't. _How were humans able to develop so quickly? Going from planet-bound to having a fleet that rivals the turians in a single century. It took everyone else a millennia at least to come that far. Maybe this ship isn't centuries ahead in _human_ terms. Maybe it's far less. Maybe there's a better ship in the works already. I guess the saying is true, 'nothing is ever good enough for a human.'_

Tali bent over at the waist again, about to open up a fourth panel, when she noticed from between her legs a pair of booted feet a few meters behind her. They shuffled nervously. With a grimace she realized she had inconsiderately kept her benefactor waiting, just standing there, for the better part of ten minutes while she played around like a little girl in her first suit.

She straightened up and turned around quickly. "Keelah, comm- John, sorry! I didn't mean to get so distracted. I can, uh," John appeared nervous or bashful about something, "finish this, ah, later." She indicated the panel behind her with a thumb.

"Of course, but I'm in no hurry. It's time for chow- time to eat. I'll take you to the mess hall and then we can continue the tour with the cargo bay. It's where we train for missions. How does that sound?"

"That sounds just wonderful." came Tali's sultry reply. _What the _fre'eg_! I should be able to control myself better than this. He's not _that_ great. I mean he is, but... He's an alien and he's probably bonded to someone else. How could he not be? And why am I even wondering at all? But if he's not bonded... If he's not bonded, then he has plenty of gorgeous females to choose from. Well so what? I'm pretty damn good looking for a quarian which, by a quirk of evolution, means I'm extremely damn good looking for a human. Oh yeah? Too bad he'll never be able to see it, little girl._

Tali's shoulders slumped and her head lowered, defeated by her own logic. "After seeing all this, I just want to thank you so much for this opportunity John," she walked to him, and towards the exit.

As she came along side him, John spoke, "Of course Tali. We need you here so I think this'll be great for everyone concerned."

On a whim, Tali did something she would later realize was pretty stupid. Looking around, she saw that Adams had left and it was only her and John in engineering. "John," she questioned, "you've taken some damage to your armor in that last firefight. I might be able to recommend some improvements if you let me scan it."

Not seeing the harm in scanning a type of armor that was readily available for purchase in generic form on the open market, he agreed. A broad smile spread across his face at her constant eagerness to help wherever she could. She really was interested in just about everything around her. It was kind of cute.

"So, um, hold still." She stepped close to him and brought up her omni-tool. Her omni-tool that only displayed in Khelish. She deftly adjusted her suits filters to a few nanometers wider that the presets. Just enough to keep out bacteria, viruses, and the like... And let in things like human pheromones and scents. Tali didn't know what to expect, but it had to be at least as good as any synthetic cologne. She breathed deeply. _Oh, yes, yes that _is_ nice. Human females must not have very sensitive noses or they'd be doing this all day... Okay, girlie, get a hold of yourself. He might know that scans aren't supposed to take this long._

She restored her suit's defaults and shut down her omni-tool, quickly turning away. She closed her eyes and collected herself, now feeling more than a little ashamed for what she did. To a human or asari, it would be akin to staring down a woman's low cut blouse for a solid thirty seconds. _Ancestors, I'm such a filthy pervert. Whatever, I'll take what I can get._

"I'll-" Tali's voice cracked a bit, she covered it with a cough, "excuse me. I'll send you some recommendations for new types of armor based on this data." She would send the profiles of the half dozen or so types of armor she had already picked out for him while waiting earlier in the human embassy.

"That's great Tali, thanks. Shall we?" He gestured to the exit.

"Of course."

...

_January 18th, 2183, 18:32:41_

"...and I'm sorry for doubting you, Garrus, you did really great out there," Tali heard the dulcet, feminine voice as she approached the long communal table with her tube of nutrient paste.

"I know. I'm so exceptional that it's sometimes hard for others to appreciate it until they see me in action," the turian smirked at the human across him.

"Whatever Skull-Face," replied the ship's captain. To Tali, her words sounded extremely bigoted, but her expression, posture, and voice all painted a completely different picture. "Hey little bucket! Sit next to me."

Tali nodded at her captain and saddled up to the table next to the fiery woman.

"Huh, not _that_ little, I suppose," Jane eyed the girl up and down.

Tali couldn't resist, "Ma'am, are you calling me fat?" she glanced at the turian whose mandibles were wide in a grin, his hands up in mock surrender.

"What, no!" Jane was sincerely shocked, eyes as wide as they would go, "It's just that I never really got a good look at you. You're almost as tall as Johnny. Before you seemed so... little," she finished quietly, hand reaching around to scratch the back of her neck.

"I try not to stand out," Tali nodded in understanding, "Thank you ma'am, for this wonderful opportunity. I cannot repay you enough." Tali offered the shorter woman an unseen smile and began to unwrap her tube.

"Meh, it's nothing. Thank John, it was his idea and his decision to bring you." This was only half true. She turned to Garrus, "Where did you learn to keep your cool and shoot like that? That's not police training."

"Well, no, it's from fifteen years in the turian military."

"Huh. I thought you were just some dumb cop, maybe kicked in a door or two while serving a warrant or something. I'd be glad to have you watching my back any day."

"And I would love to watch you back... Any day," Garrus deadpanned. How can anyone resist such an obvious setup?

Jane slammed the table with a laugh, "I'll bet, fucker- Nee!"

"John or commander will do, Sis," Tali's attention turned to the new arrival as he sat right across from her. He spared a fleeting look at her, grinning wide. _Such a nice smile,_ she thought.

"It's captain to you, bro," she stuck out her tongue and squinted her eyes at her twin.

The four conversed easily for the entire lunch period. Tali steered the dialogue away from quarian topics; she wasn't sure how the Garrus would react. He seemed to be in line with the rest of the majority of the galaxy when it came his opinions on the quarian people. They talked mostly about the upcoming campaign to defeat Saren, battles they had already fought in, and things they could do to relax aboard ship. As interesting and unusual as they were, Tali had nonetheless discovered that by the end of the meal, she had made herself three new friends. Yes, this would be the start of a very memorable journey.

**I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please let me know how I'm doing.  
**


	7. Rooster

**Bioware owns the characters and everything else you can find in the Mass Effect Wiki. Calinstel owns 99.5% of the ideas behind the Quarians that I'm using. The rest is mine. **

Chapter 7: Rooster

_May 5th, 2185, 09:35:22_

_(One year, eleven months, ten days after the destruction of the _Normandy_) _

_Garrus,_

_Things are going okay for me despite my _bosh'tet_ platoon sergeant not knowing his head from his anus. He undermines me at ever turn and I think I might arrange for him to have an accident if this keeps up. Any suggestions?_

_Leading a platoon is harder than I thought, but I'll manage. I'm about to start my sixth mission, a simple recon and possible extraction. Only a few casualties and no KIA in the previous five, but there have been some close calls. I like to think that nothing more can possibly effect me, but I don't know. _

_You asked about Farseeker School. It was hard, but not overly so. I lost about fifteen kilos... You should have seen me at the graduation ceremony. If I wasn't a quarian, I'd have gotten into any modeling agency I wanted (at least until I started eating right and lifting weights again). During the training I saw lots of my fellow candidates, grown men and women, freeze up and cry their eyes out during contact with pirates. _Pirates! _ The kind of thing you and I would think was barely worth getting out of bed for. Ninety percent of the class either dropped out or was kicked out. _

_Not a day goes by that I still don't think about John. It's different for us. It's like being forever paralyzed from the neck downward, but emotionally. It doesn't get any easier, but you _can_ get used to it, I suppose. I doubt I was (am?) fully bonded to him, but even now I wish I was more than anything. All I know for sure is that right now I can't imagine moving on or ever wanting to. It is what it is, and I'll go on doing what I do best. _

_I don't mean to be so glum or centered on what I lost. Shepard was a special, remarkable, wonderful woman and she cared for you at least as much as John cared for me. I miss her badly too. _

_What have you been up to? Where are you now? _

_Very Respectfully,_

_Tali_

Garrus typed out the terse reply, _Omega. I'm on Omega. You can come collect my body when this is all over. I'm going to make a recording to tell the truth of what we tried to do here. You'll find it on me if you make your way to this shithole. Things are not good. _He hit send and brought his right mandible back down to the stock of his rifle.

Both eyes open, he scanned the streets from his rooftop perch. The grimy streets of Omega were laid bare before him, his rifle optic shifting between thermal and standard zoom, his visor capturing infrared and other spectrums not visible to the turian eye. He didn't see anything worth his attention just yet. _Good._ He checked his proximity alarms one last time and started to low crawl to his box of emergency rations. His rifle dragged behind him from the cord securing it to his elbow. His face scraped the floor while he pressed onward. A mandible pushed aside gravel, dirt, and bits of rubble as he made incremental progress. Garrus pondered how far he had fallen with a series of grunts escaping his beak.

When his head bumped the box, he rolled onto his back and reached deep into the container, touching each package of food to gain a mental count for the third time that day. _Just this plus two more boxes. Have to stock up before the week is out. Need to get as many as I can before they cut me off completely... I'll have to limit myself to one meal a day soon._

He retrieved his dinner and unceremoniously tore into it. Still on his back, he pulled out his human book and began reading one of Jane's many highlighted passages.

His visor automatically translated the archaic human words. The content of the book was similar to any turian religious text he had read but with a distinctly human flair. Like the humans themselves, the _Bible_ lacked any semblance of organization. It was disjointed, cobbled together, unnecessarily redundant, contradictory, and entirely too preachy. The first part and the second part didn't even seem to be from the same piece of scripture. But it had been important to Jane, and that meant it was important to him. He would make every effort to understand it, if not believe it.

The _Tome of The Spirits_, on the other hand, stated exactly what behavior was expected of a devout turian in the first section, recounted the tales of the prophets in the second, and outlined the rituals of devotion in the third. It even included an index, a glossary, and a catalogue of significant achievements associated with the spirits of various organizations. This human book was almost nonsensical by comparison, but managed to get across basically the same message. _Human spirits seem to be a heck of a lot more active than ours, though._

_'Seek ye the __Lord__ while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near. __Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return unto the __Lord__, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.'_

He could see why Jane would have found this relevant. Only a couple of short weeks before Alchera she had really began to open up to him. She didn't like who she was, who she had become. After the blitz on Elysium, after what they did to her brother she had changed. Idly he wondered again what it would have been like to know her before the start of those dark times. Could he have slowed or even halted her fall from grace? Convinced her not to do what she did, knowing what she would become? Would she be alive today? Would she have even had any interest in him, or did it take a rebellious human to feel anything for a turian? Would _he_ have ever been so attracted to a normal, polite, and emotionally stable Jane Shepard? _Yes. Yes I would have. Without a doubt._

At least he could answer that question. The rest were beyond him and not worth considering at the moment, given his precarious situation. The only thing he really wanted an answer to was whether or not Jane had made it to one of her promised human afterlives, and whether or not he'd be joining her when Garm finally puts a bullet in his head. _Put in a good word for me at the gates, commander._

He took another bite of the tasteless food he had been squeezing from the package with his talons.

Jane had come so close to changing, becoming the woman she wanted to be towards the end. She even showed mercy when it wasn't expected. The asari scientist came to mind. That bitch had deserved to die. Shepard had turned his back on the blue-skinned woman, expecting the inevitable from his sister. But no shots rang out; Jane gave her a second chance. Garrus could count the number of those she had handed out on a hanar's tentacle.

Jane had always been caring and _extremely _selfless, in her own way, with those she was really close to. But the shift away from apathy and outright sadism towards strangers and enemies was something new.

Jane was the human who had voiced some disturbing positions on the laws of warfare and the role of noncombatants. 'There are no innocents; an innocent is someone who doesn't know he's your enemy yet.' Or even worse, 'If you don't kill them now, they'll just grow up hating you.' Although she hadn't murdered any children that Garrus knew of since Torfan, just hearing the well-armed Alliance vanguard with Spectre status talk that way was... unsettling. He hadn't known if it was simply that all human woman lacked any sense of maternal compassion or if it was just his deceased lover. He suspected the latter.

Garrus finished the first food package and folded it neatly before placing it in a compartment in his armor. He would discard it later when -if- he managed to sneak out for more provisions.

Garrus and Jane had talked often since they first met, many times straying into areas that made them both uncomfortable. Right before the final showdown with Saren she had seemed genuinely remorseful. Thinking back to those long conversations, he realized that it wasn't that Jane was afraid to die of the hands of that monster. Far from it, in fact. It wasn't even that she was scared of bad side of the human afterlife. The turian had read about this _Lucifer_ and he knew full well that he didn't stand a chance. Jane would walk right up to him, lay him out with a strong right hook and plant her boot in his chest, all the while demanding credit for personally delivering to Hell half its souls. She would end up ruling that place inside a week.

No, she was scared that she was no longer the person that she used to be. Afraid that her brother would never see her the same way that he used to when they were growing up. The looks of resigned disappointment present on John's face whenever she was loosed upon her victims had shamed even the stoic turian. Shepard always looked away when he could, but Jane always knew what he really thought of what she was doing.

There was more, of course. Garrus got the distinct impression that she was genuinely trying to set a good example for her crew. And for him. _I won't let you down, Jane. I'll try my best._

He turned to another highlighted section, the spot where her note had been. This passage he had read many times before.

_'And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God, that they should feed her there a thousand two hundred and threescore days. And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels, And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven.'_

When he first arrived on Omega, an elderly human woman had called him an _angel_ after he saved her and her mate from some thugs. He was surprised to find that the term originated in Jane's book and not only that, but Michael was one of the higher order of these beings.

Early on in his vigilantism he had attracted a cadre of followers, willing to fight along side him. It was the first of this group, his eventual lieutenant Sidonis, who suggested that he use an alternate name to strike fear into his enemies. Garrus first met him while stopping a Bloodpack goon from rearranging the organs of that betrayer. He should have known that the bare-faced bastard would break. If he was any kind of turian, he wouldn't have needed saving at all. Should Garrus manage to survive this then Sidonis would be dealt with. Garrus offered a silent prayer to the devil, _I'm going to send you someone; make him _pay_ for me... And if it's Jane who's getting this, good job and you're still my favorite girl._

Garrus had liked the moniker 'Archangel' so much that he had taken it in honor of the divine entity. As suggested by his former lieutenant, he had spread the alias around Omega, making sure every gangster and brute knew just who had handed their asses to them.

Whatever the real import of those verses, Garrus couldn't help but think of this dragon-slayer Michael as a kindred spirit right about now. Apparently Michael commanded a divine army, and he and his kind were sub-deities or demigods in this human religion. It become even more fitting when once he had collected his large crew of would-be do-gooders, much as Shepard and Jane had done.

Intellectually, Garrus knew that anyone could find meaning in this piece of text. Somewhere deep down though, he had to admit he thought it was fitting. Clearly, Jane had thought so too; she _had_ highlighted it after all. Probably Jane had seen herself in Michael's shoes as well, with Saren taking on the role of the dragon. Maybe she had thought herself analogous to the woman mentioned. If the latter had been the case, and this passage was indeed prophetic, then maybe Garrus had only a year and a half to wait for her return. At this rate though, he'd be lucky to last another week and a half. _If she had been as clairvoyant as that, she probably wouldn't have chosen to follow her brother into the abyss. Well, no, she still would have. Any of us would have._

...

_January 18th, 2183, 19:06:05_

"Well, if I don't write next week's training plan by tonight, the battalion commander will have my behind. Tali, come find me in the cargo bay when you're done." John stood from the table, Tali's eyes discreetly following his movements as he rose, "See ya, Sis, Garrus, Tali," he nodded to each as he spoke, briefly locking eyes with the quarian as he left.

Neither Jane nor Garrus could help noticing the girl's head turn as the marine commander passed behind her, and remained fixed in the man's direction as he continued to the elevator.

"Put your tongue back in your mouth before your mask fogs over," Jane addressed the quarian with narrowed eyes and crossed arms. Her voice was an octave lower than normal and held an admonishing tone, "John's a good man, Little Bucket."

"I, uh...," Tali's head swung from the retreating backside to find the menacing red-head's green eyes locked onto her own, "Um, what?,"

Jane began lightly tracing circles on Tali's gloved hand as Garrus watched the display with an arched eye-ridge. "You heard me," Jane's voice had taken on a mock-seductive quality, "I have good news and bad news for you, Little Bucket, and I'm sharing it with you because I like you."

Tali bristled. So she was ogling the captain's brother, but she didn't have to point it out and embarrass her like that. A mental switch would occasionally flip in the normally demure quarian whenever something like an affront came her way. It would depend on the person giving the offense, the repercussions involved, and the likelihood of her anger's ability to accomplish anything. This time it was definitely on. She pulled her hand from under the human's fingers, pointing accusingly at the older woman, "I don't know what you're talking about for one thing... And even if I did, casual sex could mean death for me. We don't _ever_ have _casual_ sex, unlike some, human."

Tali emphasized her words with a stern glare and an unseen thin smile. Jane was not impressed and continued, completely indifferent to the thinly veiled jab. She tossed her head to the side and shifted some hair behind an ear as she spoke, "The good news is that he's single and he doesn't discriminate when it comes to love."

Jane paused for effect, but Tali only grunted and impatiently gestured for Jane to continue. She was a _lot_ more interested in those pieces of information than she let on. It would make tonight's bed-time fantasy that much more believable.

"The bad news is that I will absolutely kill you if my baby brother falls for you and you hurt him. Count on it."

Tali wasn't scared in the slightest, for a whole host of reasons. It wasn't because she doubted Jane's ability or intent to exact bloody vengeance on her person. Quite the contrary. The human was deadly serious and if anyone could and would end Tali's life, it was the attractive, friendly female psychopath sitting next to her.

No, it was simply because John would never lower himself to be with her. Quarians were worse than dirt by most species' standards. Not only that, but even if humans in general and John in particular were different, he was still way too far out of her league. Being an admiral's daughter never meant much, and she was barely an engineer besides. He was a high ranking marine commander. The man was simply gorgeous, and she... Well she alright, and not exactly a varren with breasts, but he would never know it.

There was so much misinformation and malicious disinformation about the quarian appearance out there. All John would ever see was a purple visor and an all encompassing, if skin-tight, envirosuit. For all he knew, her face could be covered with tentacles and suction cups, and for whatever reason the Fleet had seen fit to mandate and encourage the mystery. _Well there's always my supremely stellar personality_, she thought sarcastically,_ Yeah, guys _love_ that. There goes tonight's fantasy..._

Not to mention that if by some miracle of the Ancestors he were ever interested, she wouldn't allow it to progress that far. Perverted thoughts and aggressive use of nerve-stim programs were one thing, but anything more than that was a bad idea. She would be back in the Fleet before long, forever detached from this man. Not an ideal scenario for _any_ level of bonding, which is exactly what would be involved if Tali were to have a relationship with the human.

While some could become romantically involved, even having sex, without becoming bonded, Tali wasn't like that. Simply put, she may be a horny girl with a dirty mind but she wasn't a slut. If she was ever to be with someone it would be permanent. Hurting people like that would never, could never, be an option.

Those considerations ignored the obvious of course. Sex with a normal man could kill her. Sex with an alien would be borderline suicidal.

"I understand completely Jane, and do not worry," She nodded briefly to Jane and then Garrus, "Now if you'll excuse me, I mustn't keep my commander waiting."

...

_January 18th, 2183, 22:52:14_

"Can I get you another?" Jane dangled the bottle of very expensive turian liqueur in front of Garrus' face.

"No, thank you, I think one is my limit while on duty. Where did you get that, anyway?"

"Found it. C'mon, I wanna see you drunk," She shook the bottle a little closer to his face this time, its light blue contents sloshing around inches from his eyes.

"No, but again, thank you," Garrus gave what passed for a meek turian smile. Jane didn't get the hint, but that was okay. This would teach Jane that when it came to him, she couldn't always get what she wanted. Never give in to a woman. It would only make them lose respect for you.

"Well suit yourself then," Garrus glanced at his armor for a second before his visor supplied a text-only approximation of the human idiom. Jane turned and placed the turian bottle down on her shelf, picking up a rectangular one with a black label and amber contents. She again filled her tall glass with what he had hoped was merely a mild intoxicant. The smell told him otherwise.

"You know Skull-Face," she tilted her head back and took in a large drink of the stuff, her piercing emerald eyes never breaking contact with his. She swished the fluid around in her mouth, cheeks ballooning cartoonishly on one side of her face then the other before swallowing it in one mighty gulp. "You're alright. A damn good warrior. Decent sort of man. You also don't put up with my crap... stand your ground and all that. Most of my subordinates... Most would do or say anything to appease me. Make me go away. Not you."

"Well, Jane, I'm not in your rating chain, and I don't think C-Sec would give a damn if you gave me a bad evaluation anyway. Uh, not that you would. As for making you go away; hardly. I've always wondered what the inside of a captain's cabin looked like. Besides," Jane's head was tilted as far back as it would go; she was now in the process of gargling what was yet another huge swig of booze. Garrus continued, "I'm not at all afraid of you. I think I could take you."

A geyser of antiseptic smelling liquid erupted toward the ceiling out of Jane's mouth. She bent double and began pounding her chest with a clenched fist as she started to violently cough. Garrus' uproarious laughter reverberated through the small room and out into the common area beyond. He continued to laugh as Jane blew liquor from her nostrils and onto the floor, one at a time. She wiped a shirtsleeve across her face at regular intervals, as she glared at him through bloodshot eyes.

Garrus had to admit, he found the way her dark red hair clung to her face in sticky-wet strands to be strangely attractive. He wiped tears of laughter from his eyes with the tip of a talon and smiled. When he finally settled down, Jane let out one last cough and swallowed.

"Any time, any where, turian. I think you might be a lightweight, cause that's got to be the drink talking."

"Perhaps. It would be exciting though. No biotics, of course. It's only fair."

"Fat chance," Replied the human. Garrus thought she stepped away to retrieve a towel to clean the liquor-soaked deck. Instead she returned with her half-full glass and the rectangular bottle. "I think some training with two meter, mobile punching would be a great stress reliever."

"Now you sound like a turian. I could tell you about this one time I-"

"Save it, Skull-Face. No war stories right now. Let me enjoy my buzz," she finished off the glass in three steady gulps. She swayed a bit as she sat down in a chair directly across from the former C-Sec officer's. Her head lolled from side to side a bit and her eyelids opened and closed in very slow succession. She regarded him unsteadily. "What do you look like... Ah, under that? All that... Armor?"

"Pretty much like a human male, I suppose-"

She leaned forward, closer to his face than personal space dictated.

"But with plates over most spots. Maybe a little skinnier than a human of the same size."

She kept coming closer, her eyes now closed. Garrus braced himself for the intimacy. _Why the heck not? It couldn't hurt. Just a little harmless exploration._

Jane continued to pivot at her waist as she moved forward, her head arching downward. Garrus felt as much as heard the thud as her head impacted his chest just below his fringe.

"Ow," came the muffled voice below him. Jane slowly rolled over to look up at him, her back on his lap, her butt still in her seat as her legs draped over the back of her chair. She steadied herself by placing her arms over his, holding tight to stop the ship from spinning so much.

Garrus brought his chin to his chest to get a better view of the much feared Commander Shepard, laid low by excessive drink, clinging to him and for all the galaxy looking like a sleepy child in his arms. He chuckled at the thought.

"I was... I was just asking, Skully. Just curious," Her eyes refused to remain open and she curled herself into a neat little ball beneath him. "Don't get your hopes up, dick. You're comfortable, mmm... Just... Don't... Just move for several hours. Till Nee comes to wake us. And if you even, even think about touching me like this, I'll... I'll, I don't know what."

A few minutes later and Jane's breathing began to steady into the cadence of sleep. She made soft gurgling noises through the drool leaking from her open mouth. Garrus brushed away the few errant strands of hair that had crept their way past her ruby lips. "Sweet dreams, Jane."

Garrus promptly stood up causing Jane to fall headfirst into the deck. She let out an unconscious stifled yell but otherwise failed to rouse from her stupor. He took a moment to inspect her condition, repositioning the woman onto her side and briefly tussling her hair. She responded with an inarticulate moan. Garrus' translator managed to pick up the words 'bastard' and 'pillow.'

A broad turian smirk occupied his face as he beat a hasty retreat to his bunk.

**What do you think of this story?**


	8. Civil Considerations

**Bioware owns the characters and everything else you can find in the Mass Effect Wiki. Calinstel owns 99.5% of the ideas behind the Quarians that I'm using. The rest is mine. **

Chapter 8: Civil Considerations

_May 18th, 2183, 21:17:31_

As boring as this task was, it was necessary. Besides which, the spreadsheets on the data pad in his hand were keeping his attention away from the data pad on his fold-out desk. If he died on Ilos, he wouldn't have to worry finishing composing the letter on that one. Looking over at the desk, he felt more than a resurgence of fierce guilt before returning to the task at hand.

John sat in his cargo bay cubicle reading over the most recent inventory of the _Normandy_'s supply section, comparing it to the current personal load-outs that his marines and volunteers had in their possession. Considered a special operations detachment, the Alliance permitted the ground team their own personal weapons, gear, and ammunition, free from the prying eyes of the battalion's supply officer.

The current S-4, such was the title bestowed on any supply officer, was gentleman after John's own heart, but he took logistical discipline a little too seriously. He would have a brain aneurism if he knew the kind of gear that the Spectre and his entourage were carrying and the complete lack of accountability that John permitted. Items such as incendiary ammunition had been illegal for humans to use in warfare for the past three hundred years. Too bad it worked so damn well.

That didn't stop John from dipping into the official store of available supplies when his unofficial pool ran a little low. Or in this case, when he needed as much extra firepower as he could get. As well as handing out at least six fragmentation grenades to all, sub-machineguns would replace everyone's standard sidearms and he'd issue Joker an assault rifle for when shit _really_ hit the fan.

"What's on that one? You keep looking at it," came the beautiful, accented voice from behind his left ear. At the same time, a gloved hand jutted into his peripheral vision, pointing to the pad on his desk while another hand lightly grasped the area of his shoulder near the base of his neck.

John jumped forward in his chair, almost getting to his feet, obviously not used to being startled. The data pad in his hand clattered to the floor as John swung his head around to face the speaker out of habit. He knew who it was even before he began the motion, inaudibly letting out the breath of air he hadn't realized he'd been holding as he turned fully in his chair to face his companion.

Tali moved silently wherever she went. It might have been her uniquely quarian footwear or her training. Either way it was very effective. He hadn't even noticed that she'd finished cleaning her shotgun on his cot, reassembled it, and made her approach behind him.

For her part, Tali jumped back as well, clearly surprised that she'd surprised her commander. She began interlacing her fingers in their traditional dance of insecurity, her head hung low in shame. "I'm sorry John, I... I didn't mean to, um, scare you."

He looked up at her from where he was sitting with a crooked grin, eyebrows arched and arms folded across his chest. He let the silence linger, building the tension a bit. _She's so adorable when she gets like this. Sometimes I'm such a dick to this poor girl._

She dropped her head a little further, still not catching his widening grin. Her whole world was her toes at the moment. "I, uh, um... I didn't mean to suggest that I could scare you. I mean, I meant to say surprised. I, that is, I didn't mean to surprise you. If you were surprised." Fingers danced a little more frantically.

That was too much for John. He wanted, needed, to comfort her. She was far too lovable to leave standing there like that, not to mention that he was a little remorseful for letting the illusion of his anger loiter in the air.

Without warning, a five-fingered hand interrupted Tali's analysis of her digits. _I didn't mean to scare him like that. I should have made a sound, something, anything. Now I've gone and embarrassed him, maybe even caused him to break his data pad. I'll have to buy him a new one. No! Two! One to replace the one I broke, and the other to say I'm sorry for breaking it in the first place... Huh, my claws are probably getting awfully long, I wonder when I'll be able to file- Hand! Whoa! Falling!_

She landed square on the amused human's lap, squealing from the moment he grabbed one of her belts at the waist. Strong arms wrapped around her, holding her firmly in place. Her confusion evaporated under his hail of laughter, only then noticing his broad smile.

"Tali, how could you think I'd be mad at you? I should be upset at you for thinking I could be upset at you." He gave her a quick squeeze at her side, just below her ribs, eliciting another squeal.

"_Bosh'tet_! Don't!" A burst of laughter escaped her vocalizer. John had succeeded in again finding yet another one of her ticklish spots.

"Don't what? This?" He grabbed her other side, causing her to squeal with laughter again and bounce away from his hand, and into his other waiting hand. Back and forth she went on his lap, from one tickling hand to the other, shrieking and yelping with laughter the entire time until she'd had enough.

She indicated her displeasure with a swift elbow to John's stomach, winding the human. After a loud grunt of shock and pain, he leaned forward and rested his head between the quarian's shoulder blades while he caught his breath. She arched around to pet his head and gently play with his close-cropped hair.

"Aw, poor commander. You had a fair warning."

"Yeah, got that. My mistake." When he felt ready, he leaned back in his chair. Tali followed him back and pressed herself into his warm chest, quite happy with herself.

"So, you admit your mistake? Good. That's a start. Now make it up to me."

"Oh? And how would I do that?" He asked the unnecessary question. Slowly, he pulled back her new _realk_, much cleaner and less faded than the one she had when they first met. It revealed her long and slender neck along with the tubes leading from her helmet.

Tali brought up her omni-tool to turn on her nerve stem program just as John started to caress the back of her neck with his lips. He slid one hand along her metal-plated arm, starting at the shoulder and slowly working its way down. With his other, he began rubbing her stomach and working his way up to her perky chest.

"John!"

"What?" his voice and face feigned surprise. He paused his hand's movement, palm between her breasts.

"_Keelah_, you know what! _Switch hands_. You know I can't feel anything under that armor." She bounced a little on his lap and leaned into him a little harder, waiting for him to service her. She tilted her head as far back as it would go, bringing it next to his to give his mouth easier access to her neck.

"Mmm. Of course." This time he stroked her left arm and used his right hand to caress her midsection, chest, and thighs. She cooed and made... other noises of pleasure. Putting the sounds out of his mind, his lips continued their needy search. _That soft growling noise- or is it a purr?- she's doing it again. Why the heck am I so turned on by that?  
_

A soft knock sounded at the door of the small cubicle. Shepard froze and turned his head to the door, his affections ceasing for the moment.

"Who is it?" inquired the Spectre.

"Liara. John, can we talk for a minute?"

The human patted the quarian on the thigh, his message clear. Tali sat up on his lap and turned her head to face him. _Growl. It's definitely a growl. _

The quarian recieved the message, however. Tali jumped to her feet and moved to the opposite wall of the room, facing the door. Her arms crossed, eyes narrowed, she was compliant but not happy.

John cared about all the crew, especially his ground team. He had extended an open door policy to all aboard the _Normandy_. It wasn't some meaningless platitude that many other commanders, captains, and admirals had; John genuinely expected people to come to him with their issues and he always did what he could to resolve them. But this was Liara, and Liara could mean problems for the young quarian girl. The kind of problems that involved John. Tali didn't need any more complications with the commander. At the moment she already had plenty of those and not enough solutions. _Seriously Liara? Thirty more seconds! That's all I needed with him! You really had to pick right now to come and try to screw my man? Final mission or no, you're never gonna get into his pants so long as I'm alive._ Biea _blocking asari whore..._

"Liara, what can I do for you?" John asked as the door slid open.

"Hello," replied the asari, moving to sit on John's cot. She noticed the quarian, but was totally oblivious to her obvious discontent. "Hi Tali. If you two are busy, I could come back, but I really need to talk to John as soon as possible."

Tali was quick to answer for the couple, "Yes, perhaps-"

"No, you're not interrupting at all," interrupted the Spectre, his hand forstalling any complaints from either party.

Tali silently fumed at the human. Sexually frustrated by her own _inszel_. She set the environmental controls of her suit to fifteen degrees colder than ambient. Her posture relaxed slightly as she noticed the look of genuine concern on the man's face.

"Okay, John," Liara bagan again, "I won't take much of your time. I just, well I... I want to talk to you in private. About something. It's personal. You don't mind, Tali?" she turned her questioning expression to the engineer.

Tali knew where this was going. The asari and human shared many common interests and had spent a lot of free time together. She would be lying if she wasn't more than a little jealous when she saw the pair together, one or both smiling or joking so easily with each other. For a while, and sometimes even these days, it seemed that John was at least as interested in Liara as he was in herself. That wasn't surprising considering the women's similarities. If men had a 'type,' it was clear that John found himself attracted to shy, bookish women who weren't afraid to get a little dirty.

Given that it then came down to three digits versus five, normal hips versus slender human-style ones, a face he couldn't see and one he could, and her vocational training versus Liara's doctorate, Tali had no clue how she managed to win out. She would have thought it impossible to steal the heart of John Shepard without the added competition. To triumph over one the romantically famed asari though... The quarian didn't throw the word 'destiny' around much, but this certainly wasn't any of _her_ doing.

Tali would let her try again, though. The more Liara tried and failed, the better the quarian felt about it. While Tali wasn't totally confident that John would remain faithful, humans after all were known to have multiple, sometimes overlapping relationships, it didn't matter at the moment. John would honor the archaeologist's request regardless of his _inszel_'s personal feelings. _Besides,_ she tried to tell herself, _John isn't like most humans. He honors his commitments, so this'll only knock her down another peg or two._

"I don't mind a bit," the engineer lied, her tone sounding more clipped than she intended. On her way out she palmed the haptic interface of the door harder than was necessary, the sound of her gloved hand hitting metal briefly echoing throughout the confines of the tiny room.

...

_May 18th, 2183, 21:35:12_

It took several minutes of continuous chatter, some idle, some not so much, to finally get to the heart of the matter with Liara. John had know what this was about all along, of course, but he couldn't just lay it all out before his guest like he was wont to do. Doing that before she was ready would just make her embarrassed and cause her to storm out.

When he felt the time was right, he joined her on his cot, draping his arm around her shoulder to pull her close. Liara acquiesced, feeling the time was right to come out of her shell. With her eyes closed began to rest her head on his shoulder. John responded by slowly massaging the cartilaginous tendrils that passed for asari hair.

"This is about Jane, isn't it?" he finally asked. This was a secret the two had shared since their meld earlier in the campaign, her thoughts of Jane hand managed to slip past her defenses and into John's mind. Otherwise, the experience was something that had brought the two far closer together than they could have been without it.

"Yes."

"Just go for it. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Uh, I don't know, how about she freaks out and breaks my jaw?"

"I told you already, she's into girls as much as boys."

"I'm not a girl. Or a boy." While this was technically true, appearances were _very_ deceiving. By human standards all asari were very much in the female camp. To the mono-gendered asari, however, dual genders initially seemed an alien notion, although after several thousands of years of exposure to other races it was hardly unusual anymore. Indeed, to a species that almost exclusively reproduced through xenophilia, the concept was borderline natural. While an asari could successfully breed with members of any race and any gender, many, like Liara, found attraction exclusively with females because of the extreme similarity to other asari.

Liara continued, "Besides, that's not what I mean. I think she just doesn't like me like that. And I think she's already seeing Garrus."

"Are you kidding? How could she not like you? And I _really_ doubt Garrus would mind if you spent a little quality time with my sister." Although John couldn't be sure, if the situation had been different and Liara wanted Tali, he certainly wouldn't complain if the two decided to explore their options. _First I set Garrus up with my sister, now this? He has no idea how much he's gonna owe me. _

"She thinks I'm weird. And I would definitely mind. She's... She is actually involved with someone else. I don't want to _just_ have sex with your sister," she looked up to him, pain and worry well hidden but still visible to John on her normally emotionless visage.

"Yes, you do," John deadpanned, "You're not just weird, you're also adorable. A lot of people like that about you."

"Maybe, but they aren't anybody I'm interested in," she emphasized the last with a poke to his stomach. She continued, "I've told you before, I want a real relationship. Something long-term, with family and children."

John poked her back, "Where Jane can treat you like crap for the rest of your life? You see the flaw in your logic, right? I mean... She doesn't respect you. Damn, she's just going to use you then toss you out like-"

"I know! I know. But I can't help it. I can't get her out of my head." She had a type of woman who attracted her and John was well aware of it. Many, actually _most_, of the females of other races preferred the 'bad boys,' as did most of the more feminine acting asari. Liara was no different, she just eschewed the males in favor of something she was more used to. Of course, there were few as bad as Jane.

"Look. You've got a choice here. You came to me because this is possibly our," John gestured expansively to include the entirety of the ship and its crew, "last night together and you've got to choose between something or nothing. Either you sit here and mope while I crack open a dozen beers and try to push through my letter to Kaidan's parents, or you can at least see where things take you with Jane."

"No. I'm scared of... losing that something. I already have nothing. I'm used to that. You said it yourself, it probably won't work out. She's not going to dump Garrus for me."

"True, but it's a start. Even if it doesn't work out with her, getting laid will boost your confidence for the next lunatic femme fatale who you happen across."

"Yeah, but still-"

"Here, I'll do you a favor," John brought up his omni-tool and began typing. _I'm now officially a pimp. Hooking up both of my best friends with my own sister? Is nothing sacred?_

"Wait, what are you doing?" She surmised his intentions very quickly. "Nee! No! Don't you dare!"

She knocked him down on the cot and launched a mad dash for his typing hand, lunging for it and climbing all over him in the process. In response, he sat up as hard as he could, rolling her off him and sending her careening to the floor.

Liara took the reversal of fortune in stride. Seeing her try to regain her footing for another attempt to again halt his progress, John quickly straddled the asari and laid down on top of her with all his weight. Still undeterred, the asari could be heard screaming muffled insults and profanities from under the human chest pressing down on her face. She pounded her fists into the human's back and sides as hard and fast as she could. All the while he laughed and typed.

The vicious assault turned silent but continued for another minute and a half after John had shut down his omni-tool and returned to his seat on his cot. The archaeologist merely followed him to her place at his side and kept pounding away on his far larger frame, having stopped only briefly when John helped her up off the ground. Yes, he would be sore in the morning. Liara would be too, she had already begun shifting her attack to softer areas of his body like his stomach and thighs in order to spare her hands.

Finally she had relented, all the fight expended from her at about the same time as she was hit with the realization of what he did. Every so often he would let out a soft chuckle and she would respond with a jab to his gut or a backhanded fist to his chest.

Seconds continued to tick by in silence as neither person knew what to expect next. John was beginning to get worried. Perhaps he had misjudged his own sister. Maybe Jane had consulted Garrus and he had refused his girlfriend's request for an affair.

"Liara T'Soni," Jane's voice sounded over the intercom with as much allure and sex appeal as she could muster, "please report to the captain's quarters... immediately."

Liara's smile was well hidden, but it shown as plain as the morning sun to her human friend. She got up to obey her captain, palming the haptic interface to open the cubicle door before adjusting her rumpled clothing. She turned her head to issue a parting shot to the Spectre, "You are such a butt. A big, giant butt."

...

_May 18th, 2183, 21:35:12_

Minutes dragged by and Tali waited, curled up on the floor with her back to John's cabin wall. Her knees to her chest, her arms wrapped around them, she listened. Her audio inputs were up as far as they would go, but their conversation was still too soft to overhear. _Damn, still nothing. Maybe he's letting her down easily? If she hasn't gotten the message yet, it means you need to yell louder. _Keelah_, John, just let her have it!_

After what seemed like hours passed, spent playing the human game _solitaire_, Tali finally heard Liara speak the first clear words in their conversation. She didn't like it at all.

"Nee! No! Don't you dare!" To Tali's untrained ear, Liara sounded excited and not at all like she wanted John to stop anything he might be doing.

What sounded like the scraping or perhaps the shifting of John's cot followed, along with some soft banging on the cabin walls. Then came the loud wallop of bodies hitting the floor. Tali prayed to the ancestors that this wasn't happening. That there was a perfectly logical explanation for it.

Second later, her worst fears were one step closer to reality. This time she heard Liara's muffled screams, sounding in time to rapid, rhythmic, pounding noises. After a few minutes, the tempo of the pounding had slowed and Liara's cries of pleasure had ceased. Eventually the sounds of flesh pounding flesh stopped altogether. Tali didn't know what to be more enraged by, John's infidelity, his inability to wait more than a few minutes after his _inszel_ leaves before getting his bone on, or that the slut was able to get him off so quickly. _Well, girl, that answers that question. I guess I'll be heading back to the fleet after all. _

Silently, she began to weep for her loss, her shame, and her complete inability to give John what he so clearly needed.

"Liara T'Soni," Tali heard her captain over the intercom, "please report to the captain's quarters... immediately." _That's... Weird. She sounded... No. What a sick family. They _Share _lovers. That's just what those asari freaks would do, too. Unbelievable._

She got up and stood in front of the cabin door, building the courage she needed to face her ex-_inszel_ and the twins' blue-skinned sex toy. She began to cry again, this time harder than before, just as the door opened to show Liara returning her clothes to normal after a state of undress. _Ancestors, I'm so stupid. This is going to kill me, but it has must done._

**Please review.**


	9. In The Air Tonight

**Bioware owns the characters and everything else you can find in the Mass Effect Wiki. Calinstel owns 99.5% of the ideas behind the Quarians that I'm using. The rest is mine.**

Chapter 9: In The Air Tonight

_May 18th, 2183, 21:48:27_

As the door opened, John felt very pleased to see his _iszel_ standing there. Less than an instant later he knew something was very wrong.

It was just like combat foot-patrols when the streets were just a little quieter than they should have been. At those times, something that he hadn't noticed on a conscious level would click into place and the hairs on the back of his neck would go rigid. He would pray that any momentary pause of analysis would go unnoticed by the enemy, betraying his awareness of the trap.

His adrenaline surged and time slowed.

_He could see the fog and condensing liquid droplets on the inside of his Tali's mask_.

_The girl's stance was confident, but her shoulders dipped ever so slightly. _

_Resignation was in her eyes. _

_She was as a noblewoman having accepted her fate at the base of the gallows._

_He noticed Liara's hands as they dropped to her sides after adjusting her tight shirt._

_He realized how the noises he and Liara had made must have sounded._

_Tali had always been suspicious of Liara. _

_Quarians were naturally jealous. Humans couldn't bond. Trust issues. _

_His _inszel_ had been there the entire time..._

He hadn't stayed alive through years of combat without the ability to almost instantaneously assess situations and draw necessary conclusions. That trained instinct kicked in especially hard during life threatening situations. As far as John could see, this potential situation was far more devastating than any paltry attempt to end his or the galaxy's existence. He needed to come to a decision quickly.

She wouldn't listen to reason like this. In no time at all this could escalate to disastrous proportions. Soldiers learned early in their military career that when all else might fail, remember to their training. It would save them. It was a risk, but John made his decision. He entered Commander Shepard mode.

A relaxed stance overtook his body. His hands clasped each other behind his back. His eyes were calm, offering only the observant gaze of a leader inspecting one of his soldiers.

Honed though years of practice, John's voice was deep, loud, and authoritative without sounding screechy or aggravated. He projected it directly at the young quarian and into the cargo hold beyond. "At Ease, Miss Zorah!"

Tali reacted without forethought or a moment's hesitation. This was the tone that one obeyed if they wanted to stay alive. The voice that instinct required she comply with above all else. In that second there were no other considerations.

She snapped to, legs firmly planted and spread as wide apart as her shoulders, her hands rested one in front of the other behind her back with her elbows at a strict ninety degrees. Head and eyes faced directly ahead, staring intently at nothing. Every other person in earshot, save Liara and the commander himself, assumed the same position. In less than a tenth of a second the entire cargo bay responded similarly, those out of earshot taking the cue from their peers.

Confusion reigned over Liara. She glanced back and forth between John and the quarian. _What the? Why in Goddess' name is locking her up like that? What's wrong? What did she do? _

Liara instinctively brought her hand slowly to John's shoulder, searching out for comfort and answers. When it reached its destination, John didn't react in the slightest. Tali, however, did. Her head snapped to face the asari at the contact she'd made with John. Fortunately for all involved, the hardened combat veteran in Tali prevailed and in short order her gaze returned to where it began.

Liara finally understood. She removed her hand and looked only to the floor. _She thinks John and I joined. This is bad, very bad. I shouldn't have jumped all over him like that... I certainly shouldn't have beat him and been screaming so loudly. But it's just us playing around! We do it all the time! How was I supposed to know she'd overhear and misinterpret it? So stupid and so jealous of her. Of all the impossibilities in the universe, a cheating Nee has to be at the top of the list. Now she's going to wreck him over her own goddess damned insecurity._

"Sit down," John said, his tone just as firm but not as loud as before. He indicated his chair with his entire hand, fingers extended and together.

Tali hesitated, the initial drive to abide by the human's commands having worn off. Unsure of where this was going or whether she wanted to be any part of it, she pondered her options. She could run, but it was a ship. She wouldn't get very far before she would eventually have to face him. She could kick him in the groin; that would be fitting but she couldn't bring herself to hurt him, even now. Breaking it off wasn't even meant to hurt him. It was simply a task that must be done. Once Tali stepped aside, he would feel positively relieved. She could kick _Liara_ in the groin. That would be fitting _and _fun, but ultimately counter-productive.

She let her curiosity win out. Tali gave a brisk nod and moved to obey. Taking the seat, she placed her hands on her thighs, palms down, and awaited further instructions. The door automatically closed behind her when she cleared the entrance.

"Tali, let me show you something," he said in his natural tone. Turning to face his combat engineer, John removed his shirt. "Liara and I were just roughhousing. You know, sparring or wrestling for fun?"

He didn't feel it necessary to go into why they were doing it.

He spun in a slow circle. His back, chest, and stomach displayed countless red marks, fist imprints, and one or two five-fingered hand prints, as if those body parts were a canvass for a demented child with too much red paint. Welts marred his normally soft, delicate skin. Tali briefly marveled at the humans' ability to change completely from one color to another instead of merely turning a darker shade of the same color like a quarian might.

At first she thought this might be a sick attempt at bragging by the human. But John wasn't that evil. She thought it surprising that he could even be unfaithful, let alone do something so unnecessary and filled with gross malevolence as rubbing his crime in her face. But that meant that he was showing her these marks as evidence of what really happened. _There are no marks where she might have grabbed hold of him. No scratches from her long nails. No bite marks. This was not foreplay or lust. These are from punches and other blows in a fight. He's telling the truth..._

She tried to calm herself from the implications. Hope and the dawning recognition that John was just as faithful as he always seemed vied for attention against her guilt, embarrassment, anger, and some small lingering disbelief. She had to be sure.

Tali opened her suits olfactory filters to take in the smells of the room the same way she had done when she first got to know John, the same way she has done many times since. She inhaled short and occasional deep breaths of air through her nose while keeping lips slightly parted. She would recognize the scent of John's arousal anywhere. She definitely detected it, but only in one place. On her own hands from when she had been too busy to clean her gloves the night before. The other smells... There were many, but among them, and overpowering them, was the smell of John's fear. It shot through Tali like a bolt of lightning.

...

John saw the way Tali sniffed the air, her mask bobbing softly in time with her breathing. It was one of the cutest things he ever got a chance to see around her. He smiled both at the action and the realization that came over him. Tali appeared to be smelling something. _Tali can smell? I wonder if she has cybernetics or a kind of sensor suite... Either way, I guess it wouldn't be too hard for anybody to smell the odor of fresh-sex, especially in this closet of a room._

That was very good indeed, John decided. In another second or two she would understand that nothing had happened and this will all be over. She would feel bad for not trusting him, but he'd make it all go away with soft kisses and back rubs.

Suddenly the sniffling girl sat bolt-upright and locked eyes with Liara. Tali's toes spread wide, every muscle in her body tensed. The soft, smooth thighs that could entrance him for hours on end turned rock hard. The deep contours of her large quadriceps became plainly visible even through the suit. There was a pounce coming, and it wasn't the good kind.

...

To Tali, it seemed that John had more enemies than most people had friends. Receiving gunfire was more common to him than receiving handshakes. Yet for all that, not just his demeanor remained calm and confident, but his scent as well. It was always reassuring, something that said 'No matter what, everything will be fine.' Something, or rather some_one_, in this room was a threat that he couldn't deal with.

Somewhere distant, Tali's forebrain debated with itself. On the one hand, John was undoubtedly exuding much more fear pheromones than in even his most intense combat experiences. There was no question that he was thoroughly terrified, now or very recently. On the other hand, this was _the_ John Shepard, the most capable and feared warrior that the universe would ever see. Liara, at one hundred, sixty-three centimeters and just under fifty kilos, posed no threat whatsoever, even if John didn't have one of his many guns.

Tali's hindbrain, though, wasn't taking any chances.

She turned livid, her anger meeting and surpassing the boiling point in the blink of an eye. _She was beating him? She was beating my human? My mate is hurt? And he's so scared! My mate is scared to death! __**My mate is in danger!**_

John sensed the shift in Tali's demeanor almost as soon as it happened. He didn't know why the sudden change occurred, but he knew what it meant and had a pretty good idea of how to stop it.

The human dove for his sitting _inszel_ right as she leapt from her chair. The two collided almost in mid-air, making a loud and spectacular 'flop' noise before falling to the deck together, John ensuring that it was she who ended up on top. He held the lean but sizable young woman tight in his grasp. It would have been very amusing were it not so deadly serious.

Calmly, John addressed the stunned asari, "Liara, please leave and see what the captain wants."

"Of course, John," she murmured quickly as she exit the room.

From the moment she landed on him, she was holding him as tightly as he was holding her. Tali relaxed visibly as the archeologist left. Whereas before she was pressing up off the deck, occupying a guard stance on all fours, the moment Liara left she let he weight drop onto the human, almost melting into him. She stroked his face and cheek gently with a free hand while she nestled her mask into the crook of his neck. _Shhhh, my mate. I'm here, let me hold you. Do not worry. Do not be afraid. I scared her off. She's gone now. She will not hurt you... She... She couldn't hurt you. There's _no way_ she could hurt you. Were you really that scared of her? Keelah, why were you scared of Liara of all people?_

Tali looked at John with confusion and a hint of humor. John picked the emotions out of her eyes, as always. After another minute enjoying their closeness, she spoke in a flat tone, "You really were just play fighting with her, weren't you?"

"Yes! How could you possibly think I'd cheat on you?"

"No, that's not what I meant- I mean, I did think that- I'm sorry, it's just that I- And you're human so I-" Tali kept stammering, but John tuned it out. She rubbed him instinctively from his shoulders to his chest as she did so, her hands moving faster and pressing harder as she continued. To John, it went from feeling pleasant to starting to get uncomfortable. He stilled her hands with his, the surprise and intimacy of the contact having the desired effect. She paused then tried again, "I'm sorry, I'm rambling, I do that a lot. I... I need a moment to collect my thoughts."

After another couple dozen seconds of simply feeling the weight of her chest as it expanded and contracted into his, letting her unwind, he reached up to caress the back of her neck and smiled.

"You were saying?"

Tali began again, "Why were you so scared? I could smell it."

John would have time later to digest the news that Tali could not only smell, but had a damn good sense of smell. "I knew what you were thinking the moment I saw you in the doorway. I was terrified of losing you."

"_Keelah_. Ancestors damn it all. John, I was wrong to ever doubt you."

...

Liara hurried to the elevator and tried not to worry about John. He would sort this all out with Tali in no time, she hoped. She preferred to absolve herself of responsibility when it came to their relationship problems. That she didn't bare any blame if her best friend got his heart torn out, either literally or figuratively, couldn't be reconciled with reality at the moment. Instead she tried to focus on what Jane might have in store for her. When _that_ failed to produce any positive thoughts, she relegated her mind to contemplating obscure prothean dialects.

Besides, Tali would believe John when he told her the truth, wouldn't she? She'd believe him if he told her that thresher maws' stomachs were filled with candy and she should jump down their throats head first.

But quarians were a jealous people, and Tali was a jealous quarian. What if John's word wasn't enough? She had to find a way to help that wouldn't make the situation worse.

Liara's hand paused above the elevator control as she thought over different ways to fix what she'd helped break.

Only one option occurred to her. She could offer to meld with the quarian. The notion of melding with anyone except either of the twins filled her with dread. Exposing all her secrets like that, even to a team-mate, wasn't something she felt prepared to do. But if it helped John, she'd do it.

Every dirty secret, every intimate thought, the true nature of the person she was, exposed before her best friend's lover... It was almost too much, even for John's sake. But it was the only way to ensure that Tali got the message. Liara could limit the meld of course, but hiding anything from Tali would only make the situation worse. One small area where the quarian sought to pry, denied to her, would make her even more suspicious.

Liara did an about-face and headed back to John's cubicle.

When she approached the door, she reached out to knock but thought better of it, deciding instead to listen first. _No noises. That could be good or bad. No yelling... But nothing else. Could Tali have killed him accidentally? Maybe on purpose? Nee would never defend himself against that girl. He could be bleeding out. I should open the door._

Liara reached for the slim black pistol of human manufacture that she always kept somewhere on her person. Today it found a home in the small of her back. Arming the weapon with a concussive round, she checked to make sure the safety was still on. It would remain so until the next to last possible instant. She hid the weapon behind her back and started her other hand toward the haptic interface.

Again she paused, this time with great relief._ I definitely heard that. Yup. Now _that_ is what sex sounds like. Hmmm... Still in the suit, I believe, but- Wow, Tali, turn off your damn vocalizer!_

Liara turned to see if anyone else in the cargo bay had heard the noise. They definitely had. The half-dozen or so marines and one krogan just milling about averted their gaze as Liara turned.

That is, the marines did; the krogan took on a mirthful expression and bellowed a short burst of laughter. "Cold feet Asari? She's fucking your male right now and you hesitate? I know what I'd-"

"He's not _my_ male, Wrex!"

"You're little pyjack gun says different." The battlemaster crossed his arms, having proven his point.

The archaeologist glanced down weapon she clutched at the ready. "I thought he was in danger and I don't want to discuss this anymore."

She moved as fast as dignity would allow, toward the door, tucking the handgun into its slim holster beneath her shirt as she went.

The krogan called to her retreating form, "Uh huh. I'll admit that's one hell of a scary war-cry she's giving, but you pulled the gun before that!"

The marines, ground team, and crew could think whatever they wanted. If the experience tarnished everyone's perception of Liara as a stoic, emotionless academic, then so be it. Nothing she cared about was truly effected. If Tali somehow persisted with the notion that she was sexually interested in John, then she would definitely meld with the girl. Until then though, she'd leave well enough alone.

...

"Alright, enough of that," grunted Chief Williams, "She's gone and the CO found the mute button."

Hearing their gunny's curt command, several of the marines returned to the large seated circle they abandoned upon hearing the commotion. The rest went to their bunks for sleep or to recreational areas for conversation.

"Wrex," Ashley noticed the Krogan standing there, apparently deciding what to do with himself, "You're welcome to join us."

Wrex took stock of the expert marine kneeling on the deck with her subordinates. After a few seconds he decided she was serious and his wide, toothy grin renewed. "You're not kidding," Wrex thought better of laughing in the face of his sister-in-arms," I think I'll pass. If I join the void, then so be it. Just cut my head off and give an asari named Aleena. She'll know what to do with it."

The gunny pondered the enigmatic request and eventually credited it to simple krogan sensibilities. As Wrex headed off to the elevator, presumably for a snack if Ashley knew anything about the Battlemaster, she returned to her group.

The pre-mission prayer sessions had grown since the start of the campaign. Presently there were no fewer than two dozen people in attendance. Between them were ten Holy Bibles, four Noble Qur'ans, two copies of the Torah, and one Tome of the Spirits.

The Catholics held rosaries, the Protestants brought hymnals, and the Orthodox had nothing at all. One of the Jews worked at securing his tefillin. The Muslins set about aligning their prayer mats, having been assured by Joker that the _Normandy_'s attitude thrusters had stabilized the vessel to allow a direct line to Earth, relative to the deck plates. The lone Buddhist was already deep in meditative prayer. Garrus sat with stylus and data pad at the ready.

Ashley looked about the group. As she did, all eyes slowly fell upon her. She noticed that one set, normally present, was conspicuously absent. _Why on Earth did Jane run off to her cabin like that? It's been ten minutes. I'll have to start without her._

Acting as a minister of sorts had become a rather complex undertaking for the woman. Writing a service and sermon that catered to all the assembled had taken her nearly three days. Even a fully-trained brigade chaplain would find the task before her difficult. She wasn't bitter about it. Doing something like this filled her with unspoken peace, and she truly enjoyed it, but she craved more in the way of recognition. If she took on the responsibility of a field grade officer, she should at least get paid like one.

The stern-faced brunette bowed her head and shut her eyes to hide the burgeoning tears. "Let's begin with a prayer for the fallen..."

...

"Enter," Jane said aloud to the knocking. _This should be interesting. _

The door opened. Jane saw it was exactly who she was expecting. All asari were gorgeous, but Liara was... She was one of a kind. Asari didn't have freckles, they had spots, but on Liara, one couldn't tell the difference. Her tendrils mirrored a close-cropped bob that a human female might sport. Her blue skin was both exotic and comforting to look at. Her eyes were large and full of virtue. Everything about her was a mentally crippling combination of sex and innocence. Jane kept all this to her self, of course.

"Shepard," Liara mumbled barely above a whisper, "I heard the announcement over the comm. You wanted to see me?"

"Nope. Nee said _you_ wanted to see _me._ So what's this all about then?" Jane gestured to the chair next to her with an outstretched hand.

"I... Well, I... There must be some mistake. I don't know anything." Liara took the seat next to her captain. She situated her elbows onto her thighs, her chin resting on tightly clasped hands. Her fingers brushed her lips as she eyed her captain with apprehension.

"Okay. Surely you're not suggesting that your captain's brother is lying to her?" Jane raised an eyebrow as she rubbed the asari's knee.

"No! Well, no. But perhaps he was mistaken?" Liara shook her head before returning to her pose. It was awfully difficult for her to remain coherent and concentrated under the attention of Shepard.

"So you think my brother makes _mistakes_?" Ordinarily, such a suggestion would be treated as sarcasm. But Jane's serious-sounding delivery combined with Liara's currently anxious state made it seem like genuine outrage.

"No! Nee- I mean John- never makes mistakes. But... I'm sure he had a reason. I think he," Liara's eyes shifted, debating between lying when she knew she had been caught or telling the shameful truth. She tossed a hand nonchalantly as she spoke, "I think he has some _crazy notion_ that I'm attracted to you."

That was it. Depending on how Jane took it, Liara could either play this off as just a bunch of nonsense or walk out of here tomorrow morning as a new woman. Fate was a temperamental mistress, however. _Damn it, Nee, you left it to me to tell your sister? I am going to hip-check you into the nearest bulkhead the next time I see you._

"Oh? He thinks that, does he? Johnny is very perceptive. He's a damn good judge of people. Their feelings and all that crap." Jane's hand moved to the inner part of her knee and a little higher along her thigh. The asari's sharp intake of breath didn't go unnoticed. "So? Is he right?"

Jane had that same damned crooked grin she shared with John all across her stunning face. Hers was more alluring and sinister than John's could ever be, though lacking his boyish sincerity, but somehow it was still just as playful. Her green eyes twinkled with... greed.

"I... Goddess, Shepard-"

"Jane."

"Jane...," the human's hand wandered just a little further along the asari's thigh toward her blazing center, then gave a gentle squeeze before continuing to wonder. Liara bit her lower lip before continuing, "I... Well, he may have been... I don't know. I..."

Jane withdrew her inquisitive hand and crossed her arms under her chest. "Don't worry, Doc. The game was fun, but I have all the answers I need. I'm horny and in a bit of a rush, so get naked."

Liara eyes, that she hadn't realized she'd even closed, shot open in surprise. They darted back and forth, intent of discovering any deception or hidden meaning. She wondered if she heard right. No, she had heard correctly, but she needed to know if Jane was serious. This was too good to be true, after all.

"Seriously, babe. I want you, but I'm not going to take your clothes off for you," Jane nodded to the asari's blouse, "Start with the top."

Not in Liara's wildest dreams had she expected something like this. Sure, John had always reminded her of the possibility, but she never expected anything to come of it. Jane was practically a goddess, deserving as much worship as any who had temples on Thessia. Liara thought herself an oddball and a juvenile, hardly worth consideration by this warrior deity made flesh. Yet here she was, about to give her virginity to this woman. _Okay, Nee, I totally owe you a beer for this one. _

Jane eyed her approvingly as Liara pulled the top over her head, but stopped the asari half way, noticing that the shirt was all she had a hold of.

"Whoa! I said I was in a rush. Pull your bra off too. You can strip-tease for me later."

Her face hidden beneath the shirt that was now over her head, Liara could only smile. _There would be a later! _ She slid a pair of forefingers between the cups of the lacey white undergarment and her supple blue curves. She slowly tugged up on the bra and shirt together, her body making a shimmying motion as her ample breasts bounced free one at a time into the cool air.

Still pulling the shirt above her head, she heard Jane mutter approval as Liara felt a soft feminine hand wrap around her bare torso while another cupped and caressed her right breast. A warm, wet mouth engulfed as much of her remaining bosom and firm nipple, taking in as much as it could. The shy archaeologist smiled even wider.

...

"Garrus Vakarian, please report to the captain's cabin."

"Mmm?" Liara struggled to recover from the sleepy haze she found herself in, brought on by too much strenuous sex.

"Garrus'll be here in about thirty seconds. You might want put some clothes on." Jane shut down her omni-tool and interlaced her fingers back behind her head.

"Wha?" Liara repeated, disbelieving. She pushed herself off the bed from where she had lain partly atop Jane. Her breasts swaying from the sudden movement, the asari's dark blue areolas brushed lightly against the nude human beneath her.

"Yeah," Jane said between drags of a cigarette that Liara hadn't realized she'd been smoking, "Actually, you're definitely going to put some clothes on. I'm not letting Garrus see you like this."

"I... Uh... Wha?" Liara, stunned and tense, locked wide eyes on the human while holding her biceps with force.

"You heard me, twenty-seven seconds. Get moving! I'm not giving him any ideas." Her captain took another drag of her cigarette with one hand and reached down with the other to wipe blue lipstick from between her thighs.

Liara grimaced. She hated to admit it, but being shunned only made her want Jane that much more. _Fine, Nee, you were right about her. But it doesn't matter, this is exactly what I expected. I'd do it again any day of the week. I have what I want anyway._

She climbed off the disinterested human and got dressed in record time. Jane threw on a furry black bath robe with pink skulls, intent that it would suffice.

Liara was still sore, but it wouldn't slow her a but if it meant not being seen in the nude by anyone other than the twins. She finished putting her clothes on with the exception of her shirt. Just as she was pulling the top over her exposed midriff, the door opened.

There was Garrus, a turian grin on his face as he entered, replaced by surprise as he assayed the scene before him. When the door closed, Liara looked to him with a twinge of shame as she straightened that damn blouse for the second time that day.

"Skull-Face! Get your boney ass over here! ...Please?" Jane called from the bed she reoccupied, "I want to talk. If you have time."

"Goo eefthening, Galluth," Liara greeted him, refusing to look him in the eye as she did. She brushed passed the turian before he could answer, exiting the room without a second glance behind her.

...

"Hi... Liara...," he replied to the door.

Garrus couldn't tell for sure, but it seemed like Liara had been in a fight and she was upset about it. That would have been a poor decision for the asari. Jane may not have the biotic abilities of Liara, but she more than made up for it in strength and skill at unarmed combat.

Before she left the room, he tried to survey the damage that Jane had undoubtedly done to the woman. It wasn't as bad as it could have been. The asari's legs were both plainly stiff, she walked with a limp, and she'd been rubbing her jaw. He hoped it wasn't broken, but the way she talked showed otherwise.

"Jane, getting rid of some pre-combat stress? I guess I'm here for round two," said the turian with a smirk.

"Why, yes. Correct on both counts," she replied with a smirk of her own. She approached him and ran her hands along his arms. She took another step, very close to him now, and looked up.

Garrus wasn't sure what to do. That meant small talk. "Nice robe. Very... Fluffy. You want to fight in that?"

Hope and dawning understanding warred with good old-fashioned insecurity in his mind. Taking what he thought was a chance, he brought his talons to the sides of her waist. He felt rewarded and relieved when she chuckled and brought her head to the armor around his fringe before fixing her eyes to his.

"Um, no. If you want to fight, I'll get dressed. But do you _really_ want me to do that?" She bit at the corner of her lip as she lowered her eyelids slightly and chuckled again. She closed the inch or two separating them, her bust pressing against him.

"I... Well, no. I mean, yes, I would like to spar you. You'd be a fine opponent," Jane smiled deeply and looked to her feet, but Garrus continued, "I don't mean to suggest you wouldn't be, but, uh, maybe later?"

"Of course," She rubbed his mandibles with both her palms. He used his talons to brush away the hair that had fallen to cloak her face, but paused them once they met with her blushing cheeks.

Human sexual signals could be some of the most subtle or direct in the galaxy, Garrus had learned. There were thousands of vids and digital books on the subject, authored as much by humans as other races. Every one said something different. There were no definitive texts on the subject, and that they kept producing them meant that no one had figured it out after millennia of human civilization. The only consistency was that when the moment was right, one would know it.

Trusting in Jane, he closed his eyes and lowered himself to her. He said a silent prayer of thanks to the Spirits when he met a soft resistance after only half the expected distance. He opened his eyes for only the briefest second. Jane was there, her lips pressed tight against his mouth, her eyes closed.

Jane enjoyed the moment. This would have gotten awkward if she had to make the first move. She would have; she just didn't want to. The second she saw Garrus move in, she closed the gap and released the breath she'd been holding. It came out in a ragged sigh through her nose. Talons that she thought would be uncomfortable were surprisingly gentle against her face. They tightened a bit more as she prized Garrus' mouth apart with her tongue. She clutched at his mandibles a little harder and ran her thumbs along his face just below his eyes.

They continued like that, after a short time Jane deciding to jump on him. She wrapped her legs around his waist as Garrus supported her with one hand under her buttocks. His other hand reached around her upper back, talons brushing the base of her neck and the hair that fell against it. They kissed with fire and passion, Jane exploring Garrus' sharp teeth with her tongue while Garrus did the same to her smooth blunt ones.

They both pulled back to catch their breath, smiling like teenagers enjoying their first love. Garrus placed her gently on her bed and began to remove his armor. It took Jane an instant to fling her robe into the corner of the cabin.

"So, Jane," Garus began while hurriedly undoing his metallic clasps, two at a time, "You, uh, decided to _spar_ with Liara like this." It wasn't a question.

"Garrus, I'm not going to lie to you. I fucked her stupid." She leaned back on her arms, chest puffed out, an incredibly smug look about her. She was mighty pleased with herself and left the unspoken 'What are you going to do about it?' to linger in the air.

Garrus stiffened, mandibles as wide as his eyes.

Perhaps she had gone too far. Jane genuinely thought it wasn't an issue and didn't want it to ruin this moment. She needed to do damage control, fast.

Sitting up then slouching, Jane gestured with both hands as she spoke softly, "Garrus, look, I'm... Well I'm... Well, she's a good kid, sexy as hell, but I have no interest in her romantically. Friends with benefits, nothing more. If I broke some boundary between us... It won't happen again."

"No, no. That's not why I'm surprised. I'm your boyfriend," Jane smiled on the inside at this, far more giddy and relieved that she would ever let on, "You'd think you'd at least let me watch."

"Ha! Never. If you're good I might tell you about it," Jane smiled as she leaned in to help him with his armor. _Boys. Always the same. Not threatened at all by the raunchiest, dirtiest sex I could have with a woman, but let me even smile at another man..._

"Be good? Me? That's sounds difficult. Maybe you should give me an example of your incentive so I know if it's worth it." Garrus needed to get his armored leggings off, fast. They were getting very tight, very quickly.

"Let's just say that biotics are very useful at replacing what isn't god-given," Garrus worried over the way she scanned him up and down with her big green eyes, but her expression was pure, if false, innocence.

"Uh," Garrus swallowed hard at the mental image. He felt torn between being very aroused at what had already transpired and terrified and what was about to.

"Relax, Garrus," She had now freed him of the last of his attire. She appraised him yet again. "I'm not going to do anything you're not into."

He smiled at the human and brushed her hair with a talon.

She pulled him to her lap and he straddled her with his knees. "Still," her voice dropped to a whisper as she brought his head close to hers, "you should probably sleep on your back tonight." She finished with a lick to his neck.

At that, Garrus pushed the naked human hard to the bed. Before she could recover from her astonishment, he responded, "No, Jane. I'm not going to have anything to worry about tonight. I'm going to do what poor Liara started but couldn't finish. I'm afraid you won't in a condition to do anything but sleep when I'm done with you."

...

_God almighty,_ Jane thought as she tried to decide between painfully getting up to use bathroom or pissing her turian occupied bed_, Garrus wasn't kidding. Best sex of my life. Twice. Tomorrow I'll be on the best mission of my life. I could die a happy woman. _

******Yup.** I went there.  


**Don't forget to review! It's important.  
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**Next up, Alchera.**


	10. Big News, Everyone!

**Ok, big things have happened. Warrior Ethos has been continued as Warrior Ethos: 2 and the information page has been made into its own story.**

**It is essentially my take on ME2, so it starts with The Humbling River (Alchera) and continues from there. **

**You'll also find Stop Loss and Some Nights there, and my newest chapter, Omerta.**

**The reason I have chose to do this is for simplicity's sake down the line. It is easier for me to organize the stories according to Pre-ME2, ME2, ME3, and beyond ME3, rather than having one giant 500,000+ word behemoth to work with.**

**As always, I enjoy and learn from every one of your reviews, no matter how many times you do it. **

**...  
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**In summation: This story is complete. All future Warrior Ethos chapters will be found in Warrior Ethos: 2 (until Warrior Ethos: 3 comes out)  
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**...  
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**Now stop reading this and go check out what Jane does to her the Big Ol' Blue Bosh'tet back my newest chapter, Omerta!**

**~1054SS325MP**


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